The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Nitty Gritty

I know that writing this after blogging for a year and a half and then backdating it is a little strange. I should have written all of this ages ago. But right now seemed like a good time to yank a single post together that contains relevant information that you might like to know.

  • My name is Melissa. I usually sign everything Mel so people get confused and sometimes call me Melanie, which is an honest mistake. But my name is actually Melissa.
  • I used to blog under the name The Town Criers. I still use it sometimes. When this blog turned two-years-old, I chose the name Lollipop Goldstein. You can read the whole story here.
  • My husband's name is Josh.
  • We have twins that I call the ChickieNob and Wolvog on the blog. They were conceived via fertility treatments, namely an IUI with injectables cycle. We are currently doing treatments again to conceive a third child, though we're taking a break for a bit.
  • I think the post that best gives you a sense of the history of this blog as well as what is important to me is this one.
  • I live my life by Gandhi's adage: "you must be the change you wish to see in the world." I also live my life by the Beatles quote: "in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." I love a good quote. I also firmly believe that everyone is welcome here and anyone in need of support will receive it here. The reason why can probably be found in this post.
  • I have a book forthcoming from Seal Press in spring of 2009. It's about infertility and pregnancy loss. It's called Navigating the Land of If. Click here to go to the book's website.
  • I love talking about publishing and writing with other writers so feel free to write me with questions or comments (more on my email in a moment).
  • I love reviewing books. I really only review books that are about or tangentially related to infertility, pregnancy loss, or adoption. Sometimes I'll also review books about prematurity and twins. And when I say tangentially, if it's a work of fiction and infertility is a background plot device, I'll read it and review it. If your book is not even remotely related, I'm not a great site for you anyways because I pretty much only blog about infertility, pregnancy loss, and the like. I also run an online book club with over 100 members and 20-30 participate for each book. We're all happy to be introduced to new books but because we vote on what we're reading far in advance, there may be a wait to get to your book. sum up...if you are an author or a publicist, I'd love to help you out and read your book and if I don't have time in my schedule at the moment, I'll let you know when you email me and call me Melissa, not Melanie. The only thing I ask of you when asking bloggers for reviews is to spend a little time on my blog (or on any of the other blogs associated with the book club) and get to know the space. After all, we'll be spending hours with your book; you should know who is reviewing it before you ask.
  • If you just learned about the online book club for the first time and you want to join, you can always jump to the current book that we're reading via the link on my right sidebar. We're called the Barren Bitches Book Brigade and we're open to anyone in the infertility/pregnancy loss/adoption community (past or present).
  • My email address is I'm usually pretty good about writing back within a day or two so if you don't hear from me after a week or so, send another email. Truly, I never ignore emails unless they're off-topic and spam-like. I've also been described as "pretty nice" and I think that refers to the fact that people can feel comfortable writing me even if they haven't been a long-time blog reader or regular commentor (if anyone wants to chime in with a testimonial about my emailing skills, feel free in the comments section).
  • On the topic of emails that are off-topic or spam-like, as of 4/22/09, I am not responding to emails asking for me to hawk a product or link to an off-topic site or anything that essentially amounts to free advertising for a product or organization (the exception being non-profits, on-topic books, or documentary films). I just get too many of them and while it feels rude to ignore an email, it also feels rude to have someone use your good nature and email inbox. So, just making the blanket statement here: the answer is "no." If you wish to purchase an ad on the site and put actual money into the ALI community and UTERUS, you can follow the directions from that link.
  • I love receiving comments; who doesn't like feedback? Many of my posts are salon-like in nature and invite answers or commentary. I'm all for disagreement, as long as it's polite. I will remove any comments that I deem off-topic, rude, or mean-spirited. If you return to my blog and see your comment gone (really, why are you coming back to check on your comment?), that should probably be your clue that I thought your comment was off-topic, rude, or mean-spirited. Rather than write another comment that is off-topic, rude, or mean-spirited that I will also remove, please simply click away from my blog. This space is not for everyone even though I try to be as inclusive as possible. Maybe my writing style grates on you or maybe you have a problem with type-os, of which there are probably many. And that's fine. I have a huge blogroll, so if you're looking for other IF/pg loss/adoption blogs, there are many to choose from on the list. On the other hand, if you do like it here, please stick around and keep reading. And leave a comment from time to time.
  • If you want to be on the blogroll and you have a blog that fits in any of the categories on the blogroll, send it my way and I'll add it. It speeds things along if you pick your category for me or write me a little bit about yourself so I can choose a category for you. People can only appear in one category--sorry, the limits of the blogroll service.
  • I also run the Lost and Found and Connections Abound, which is a daily newsletter summarizing life in the IF/pg loss/adoption community. If you haven't seen it yet, click over and check it out. If you need support or have an announcement, send it my way. If you're reading other blogs and you see news that is Lost and Found-worthy, send it my way too. When I put up a new post on the Lost and Found, I change the link on the post of this blog which is labeled "The Daily News."
  • I also write a weekly column for BlogHer. It comes out on Thursdays. And I do freelance work from time to time. As a freelance writer, the answer is "yes, I'd like to write for you" if you are a publisher looking at my site. Just in case you were wondering.
  • I am also a kosher vegetarian. And I bake all of my own bread. And usually ask others all of my technical questions when it comes to blogging. And I'm a great multi-tasker (just in case you were going to ask me how I get everything done).
  • Sometimes I refer to my siblings as Hansel and Gretel on this blog.
  • And I guess I'll keep adding to this page, which I've backdated so I can find it easily, as time goes on and new information pops up and should be added or changed.
Thanks for reading all of this. Anything that wasn't covered, you can ask me via email. Happy reading: I hope you find this blog helpful and comforting. Or funny and enlightening. Either, or or all.


Lori Lavender Luz said...

Mel really IS great at email returns.

And she is understated when she says she's "pretty nice."

I haven't tried her bread, although she promised me some once.


Unknown said...

I'm really glad you posted this 101! Although I've figured it out mostly already, I would have found the recap useful when I first stumbled into here, so I'm thinking others will also find it similarly useful as they get acquainted with this site. Toda raba for all that you do!

Stacie said...

Great summary! I just wanted to say that you really do do a great job running this site and keeping our community connected. Thank you for that!

Oooohhh the homemade bread sounds heavenly!

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

what a great idea - thanks for sharing Mel.
I wish more blogegrs did that.

I Believe in Miracles said...

I loved your 101! Thanks for sharing.

evie said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and for writing this blog. My DH and I are moving on to the next stage of infertility options - surrogacy. I hope things will turn out well.

Adrienne said...

Wonderful site! Love how it's organized. So easy to navigate!

Sammy Finkelman said...

You shouldn't feel that bad about backdating. Anne frank did that too. (I saw the 1986 book that contains everything from her diary that survived except for five special pages about her parents marriage, released in 1995)

You can find out more here:

She first wrote,and then, in 1944, she started to prepare a novelization, strongly based on her experiences. The Dear Kitty entries come from that. When her father, Otto Frank, found what had survived, he thought she was just changing names. I don't think he understood what he had.

Anyway, what he put together contained something from the original diaries and something from the rewriting - and in case at least - you can easily spot it - the dream - sometimes both because she aslso changed the dates a bit in her retelling.. Not everything survived so for some periods there is only the reworking of the material.

Do you really want comments from anyone - any blogger, about anything?

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if I might be able to get listed on the main blogroll again? I know I was but then got removed. :(

We have suffered infertility and miscarriages. We are now doing fertility treatments and going through the foster-to-adopt process.


StorkStories said...

Hi Mel! Yet again I meet another amazing Melissa. I too am Melissa who is sometimes called Mel... Mostly Melissa. I loved reading about you and wish to add yours to my never ending volume of GREAT blog posts to read. I am an OB/Neonatal/Lactation professional in the business 35 years. I started a blog this year after knee surgery called "Stork Stories...Birth and Breastfeeding". I will submit to be added to your blogroll. I have worked with Kathy Kuhn who also writes for iVillage occassionally. Thanks for being here. Melissa