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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Secret Ode Day (Ode 3)

It feels as if it has been a sufficiently long enough amount of time to be a surprise today. And to be honest, it just felt right today. Every time I've gone to post it, I've paused. And today, I reworked this top portion of the post and then hit publish. Why today? I don't know except that it felt right.

For those who have no idea what they are about to read, last summer, we started an ongoing project called Secret Ode Days. The idea behind it came from a neighbour who had a floating family holiday where they decorated a tree in their front yard one morning every year and all the kids from the neighbourhood were invited to come harvest the lollipops. Therefore, all the kids in the neighbourhood woke up every morning with this anticipation that this could be the sweetest day. And when it did happen, it was the best day. I hoped these words would be like those lollipops--popping up when you least expected them and making your whole day.

The other impetus for this project was that people simply don't tell people nice things nearly enough. We save our best words to say when the person can't hear--I'm not just talking about after the person is gone, but how we tell good stories about others or think kind thoughts about another person, and they never know. Therefore, here was a chance to anonymously let a fellow blogger in the community hear how much their words and actions mean to you. It is also your semi-regular reminder to pick up the phone and call someone you love today and tell them how much they mean to you. Go ahead--you can leave the blog open on the screen. Nudge, nudge (and not in the wink, wink way) go pick up the phone. We can wait for you.

So here is the third string of odes for the Secret Ode Day project. Secret Ode Days pop up unexpectedly. Whenever I have a critical mass, I will post a set of odes. It may be tomorrow. It may be next week. You may be waiting months to see them again.

Want to join in the love fest? Write a paragraph (or two or three) about your favourite blog (or blogs!) and send it to (do not post them on this entry or it ruins the surprise. Anything posted here will simply remain part of this love fest--so yes, say kind things about a fellow blogger...cough...or myself...but if you want to write your own secret ode, email it to me)

Frequently Asked Questions:
  • Anyone can submit one.
  • You can write one about someone who has already had a paragraph written about their blog (there is no limit to how many odes can be written about a person).
  • All paragraphs are posted anonymously.
  • You can write about more than one blog (giving each a separate paragraph). If you're in a particularly loving mood, feel free to write ten of them!
  • You do not need to have a blog to submit one.
  • Whenever I have a critical mass, I will post a new Secret Ode Day entry.
  • The beauty of Secret Ode Day is that just because your blog doesn't show up in the current post doesn't mean that there won't be a paragraph about it during the next post. And just because you appear in one post doesn't mean that you won't be mentioned in the next post too. It's just always a surprise--sort of like waking up in the morning and finding the trees decorated with lollipops.
  • If you have a submission, send it to Be sure to include the url as well as the blogger's name if possible.
  • If you want to write one about me, create a fake email account to send it. All entries are kept anonymous from the blogger. So the only way to keep it anonymous from me is to make up a fake name and email account!
The Odes of the Day:

Niobe at Dead Baby Jokes

Niobe records her grief over the loss of twins with piercing clarity and raw honesty. Her intelligence and mastery over words make for posts that are incredibly beautiful and poetic, often rich with literary allusion. She also posts some stunning photographs. But aside from all that, I think what keeps me coming back to her blog daily is her unfailing honesty and vulnerability about and in her grief. That, and the dark humor, which the world needs more of.

IVF2Women at Babies on Ice

I'm still waiting for the denouement of this riveting story. The writing is in turn funny, thought-provoking, and with an underlying humanity. This is gamete donation from the other side of the fence, from a couple who know what it is to struggle.

Pam and Dtrini at Baby Wanted: Apply Within

A dual-voiced blog from Pam and her husband. Not only do we get to hear from the (often absent) male perspective, but their love for each other shines through and is an inspiration. They have now moved onto to donor eggs and I wish them well!

Serenity at Serenity Now!

Serenity and I started blogging at around the same time. I have always been touched by her sincerity, her honesty, and by her willingness to reach out to others. She has been knocked down so many times, yet she always gets back up and somehow manages to muster up some hope for whatever comes next. I'm glad she has gotten her golden ticket.

Thalia at Thalia's Fertility Journey

I think that Thalia is one of the most amazing women in blogland. Hers was one of the first blogs I read, and at that time I never dreamed that I would have to go through what she has been through. Before she got pregnant, I was always amazed at her strength and willingness to continue no matter what roadblocks were placed in her way. I am thrilled that she finally has a healthy girl.

Patience at The Impatient Patient

Patience has always inspired me probably more than anyone else. With several losses and a failed adoption behind her, she still manages to get out of bed everyday. This woman is a true survivor, and whenever I start feeling down on my luck and like I don't want to keep going, I think of her. I want so badly for her to finally become a mother.

Julia at Here Be Hippogriffs

Julia's blog was the first IF blog I ever read. She is one of the few bloggers who is dealing with balanced translocation. I am seriously in awe of this woman. She lost so many pregnancies, but never gave up on adding another biological child to her family. Through each pregnancy I found myself stalking her blog and hoping so hard that this would be it, and with each loss I have cried for her. I am so thrilled that she finally has her twins.

Ultimate Journey at Still Trying After All Those Pills

Last year, Ultimatejourney at Still Trying After All Those Pills dealt with some tremendous disappointments, the biggest of which is discovering the need to go through with DI after finding out her husband has azoospermia. She writes with honesty and warmth. She tries her best to keep a positive outlook, but also doesn’t hide the fact that she wishes things were different. I was laughing out loud as I read about her and her husband’s search for their “baby daddy.”

Matthew at Maybe Baby

Matthew at "Maybe Baby" is not only one of the few guys out there blogging about IF, but also one of the most personable and enjoyable blogs out there about IF. He writes with realism and optimism about the ups and downs of the journey, and frequent comments from wife Constance add a rich conversational depth. Plus his graphics are really cool, and he's often very funny.

And another ode to Matthew at Maybe Baby

While I like to think that my husband and I have really strong communication skills, it certainly takes a lot of work to truly understand one another. That said, what I appreciate about Matt’s blog is that he offers another glimpse into the male perspective and ultimately I think that helps me to understand my husband and my own situation that much better. Matt’s writing is sensitive, funny, thoughtful and all the things that make me want to go back again and again for more.

Sarah S-P at The Island

I go the "The Island" daily for Sara S-P's latest news, for links to interesting information (everything from research to celebrity gossip), for the fascinating cast of characters (from Crack Lady to difficult Boss L), for the cool setting (New Orleans), and just because Sara has started to feel like a friend. Reading back through her archives made me cry over her loss, and I can also resonate so strongly with the ongoing frustrations over TTC, IUI, and so on. Sara's determination and dedication have put me in her cheering section.

Nancy at The New Life of Nancy

As a long-time follower of Nancy's, I find myself hoping and praying for her almost as much as for myself. She often brings "behind the scenes" issues in the blogosphere out to the forefront, allowing for an intelligent conversation. I know that she's opened my eyes on some issues, and caused me to think, really think, about how I feel - behave - comment, on other issues. Never afraid of an argument, she does a great job of "calling out" things that she feels need to be out there, and in turn, she opens an honest dialogue with people

Chicklet at Blurb This!

I can't understand how anyone could read this woman's writing, and NOT love it. She's honest about what she's currently dealing with, shares the gory details in a way that makes them readable, and finds a way to give everything she writes that dash of snarky humor only she can provide. Reading her blog has helped me to open up within my own blog. And I love love LOVE the conversations she and her hubby have. I strive for a marriage that is that honest, that real, and still that fun.

If you are on the list, no, you can never know who wrote this about you. The point is that it's a secret ode. But you could probably write a post on your blog thanking them and they'll see it. And if you have felt intense love here, pay it forward with your own secret ode.

Keep them coming. Whenever I have a critical mass, I'll post them. If you've been moved to write about your favourite blogger (or bloggers) or want to pay it forward with an ode of your own, email me a paragraph at


Natalie said...

Awww, yay! This really IS the sweetest day. And not just cuz there's a wicked ode to me, but cuz some of the other bloggers I read got odes too, which means they're all excited too, which means it's a good good day!

HereWeGoAJen said...

I was very surprised!

Oh, and if anyone wants to write secret odes to Mel, you can email them to me and I will take out your info and forward them on so that they are a surprise.

(Hey, my Word Verfification has hug in it today! Perfect!)

Io said...

This is awesome! But where do I start?! I want to write a book filled with love about each one of my bloggy friends.
I will be emailing you soon with oodles of odes.

AwkwardMoments said...

Mel - You are so wonderful at what you do. THank you for all you do!

Tara said...

This is a really cool idea.

Mel, without you our community would suffer greatly. You are so good at keeping us all together and spreading the love and support.

Keep up the good work.

Kim said...

So exciting. I love this idea! I am a big fan of the pay it forward thing! I also love the lollipop tree idea. We have tons of kids on our block! Only, I need a tree in my yard! Can there be a lollipop flower bed? lol

MsPrufrock said...

Oh no, another feature in which I will surely pick up even more feeds! Ack!

This is a great idea, you clever, clever, woman you. It's a sort of positive curtain twitching in a way and as we know I'm all about the dirty curtain twitching.

Dr. Grumbles said...

Awwww, I am spewing the puffy hearts about this!

Barb said...

What an AWESOME idea!!!!

Anonymous said...

Mel, how did you get my vibes from all those miles away? I needed this right now - sometimes there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and then something like this lifts me up and I realise that everything will be ok.

To my Secret-Ode-r - thank you so much. Seriously. You don't know how much this means to me.

Patience x

nancy said...


Thank you for whomever mentioned me. I am having such a crap day, this did bring a piece of light into it.

I will do the secret ode too! I just gotte get to submit it.

Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

astral said...

This is an excellent idea. I agree that nice things need to happen more often. Thank you Mel for coming up with a way to make us feel good and special.

niobe said...

Gee, I'm blushing over here. What a nice thing for someone to say about my blog. And how nice of you, Mel, to put this together.