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Will

Erin McKeown recently wrote a newsletter about her will called “to die for.” Isn’t that a clever title? I thought it was a clever title.

Anyway, she writes about drafting her last wishes with her lawyer. Some of them are logistics about the funeral (cremated or not?) and understanding why she is making these decisions rather than leaving them for someone else to make at a later date: “of course, the overarching question of all this: who is this for? it’s not for me, that’s for sure. i will be dead.”

But then the conversation turns to what happens to her things. And that is the part that ties into the title. She writes,

not having a spouse or children and not owning a home in some ways made all the decisions simpler. but also… again…. strange! marriage and children are such shortcuts from hard decisions. if you don’t have those easy answers, the questions are harder.

And I love her answer and the longer unpacking of it, but it comes down to using your things to say thank you:

i have decided that whatever assets i do have at my death, will benefit a range of non-profits that i have had long, personal relationships with. these are not activist-type choices, these are choices that reflect gratitude for places that helped me become a better person.

Isn’t that such a lovely idea? Not to change the world (an activist-type choice) but to thank the world (a gratitude choice).

Erin McKeown seems like a lovely human being, so it fits. Go read her whole newsletter.

December 29, 2024   No Comments

1018th Friday Blog Roundup

Somewhere around this time five years ago, we first started hearing about this troubling virus. Back then, the only cases were in Wuhan, and it didn’t seem likely that it would reach the US. And if it did reach the US, it would remain on the west coast. By “likely” I don’t mean virologists — they probably had a very different understanding of the disease. I’m talking about the blissfully unaware state I was in this time five years ago.

What would that Melissa think if I told her that five years later, she would still be masking indoors?

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

  • None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

Finding a Different Path explains the point of unhappy thoughts, kicking toxic positivity to the curb though a pack of slogan laden pencils with the best ending ever: “And that’s how the toxic positivity pencil met its well-deserved demise, shattered into a zillion pieces while 13-14-year-olds with pencil-murdering glints in their eyes looked on and cheered.” What is the story? Well, you’ll have to click over to read it.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ proves the opening message that after five years, COVID is still around. She came back from an amazing trip and immediately fell ill. She shrugs her shoulders: “That’s fine. It’s the end of a long year, and I hope for you it passes peacefully whether you celebrate or not. I’m looking forward to the rest of summer (having missed the start of it in Europe), and health returning.” Here’s to better health soon.

The roundup to the Roundup: Five years of COVID. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 20 – 27) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.

December 27, 2024   5 Comments

Merry/Happy Christmas

Josh suggested that we return to our family tradition of watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy between Christmas and New Year’s, but I’m still unsure how this day will unfold beyond the consuming of appetizers for dinner, reading, playing Balatro, bothering Beorn, bothering the twins, and trying to convince everyone that we should put the fake fire up on the television. If PBS doesn’t air it, I’m sure we could find it on YouTube.

And how are you spending today? Hope it is merry and bright.

December 25, 2024   2 Comments

#Microblog Monday 517: The Way Back

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Kathy left a recent comment about how “we do our situational best with the information/knowledge we have at the time.”

In writing her back, I started thinking about all of the things our parents allowed us to do that we would never permit now because we know more, such as sitting in the way back of the station wagon (no seat belt and waving to other drivers, distracting them), biking without a helmet, and motioning to truck drivers to pull their horns. Actually, it seems like a lot of the things we would never allow now have to do with distracting other drivers.

What are things you’d never do (or allow) now that were commonplace in childhood?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts connected to businesses or sponsored posts.


December 23, 2024   3 Comments

The Quiet Zone

We are now entering the heart of the Quiet Zone, which begins around Thanksgiving and reaches its climax near Christmas, continuing through the beginning of January. You may think of it as the Busy Zone or the Loud Zone because you have a ton of things to do to get through the holiday season. But this period can become strangely empty if you don’t celebrate Christmas.

If I’m waiting on anything big during this time, I know that (1) if I receive the item/answer at all, it will be much later than I thought it would come, and (2) it will likely be pushed back until January. No one wants to start things in mid-December. If we hadn’t conceived the twins on the cycle when we conceived the twins, I could have seen the clinic encouraging us to take a cycle off to not conflict with the holidays.

I could, of course, lean into this, knowing that I can’t fight it. It happens every year. And for someone who really loves silence, it is weird that I get so antsy with quiet periods. But I do.

So I’m filling the time with projects. Hoping I can hit the ground running when everything ramps up again in January.

December 22, 2024   2 Comments

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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