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Friday, January 05, 2007

The Creme de la Creme of 2006

The Creme de la Creme of 2006
Good enough to drink

Other prizes honour only a small handful of blogs. Fuck that! We've expanded the idea of presenting "the best" to include a post from every blog in the infertility and pregnancy loss world. Listed below are the best posts of 2006. If you have a blog that chronicles your experience with infertility or pregnancy loss and you're not on this list, send a link of your best post from 2006 to and I'll add your blog*. In the meantime, happy reading!

The Creme de la Creme of 2006
(in no particular order)
  • I Probably Shouldn't Be Writing This ( from Thalia's Fertility Journey): an emotional journey through all the could-have-beens.
  • International Infertility Film Festival (from Infertile Fantasies): Bea's brain-child--a completely online film festival! This post is a guide to participating in the first ever International Infertility Film Festival, due to screen from March 31st at a computer near you.
  • Designer Knock-off Children at Bargain Prices! (from Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters): the rallying cry of "natural is nice!" but any way you become a parent is best.
  • On Changes (from Serenity Now!): a unique perspective on infertility and change.
  • The Dark Side (from Well, Now That We're Here...): pregnancy after infertility without the gestational naivete.
  • 101 in 1001: #11 complete (from Gypsyhick): a somber post on mourning after a pregnancy loss.
  • Tattoo (from Thin Pink Line): filling the void after a loss and ultimately realizing how she still carries her daughter with her forever.
  • Three Weeks (from the Twinkies): a mother of twins tells it like it really is in those first weeks. A must read for anyone struggling through early motherhood.
  • A Decisions (from Miss E's Musings): the divine Miss E and her husband find their peace and know that it's time to walk away from one path and step onto another.
  • Dear M (from A Somewhat Ordinary Life): a wife writes a note to her husband, begging him to get angry about infertility so they can beat it together. A must read for anyone struggling with a spouse about when to move forward to the next step.
  • Hope on the Edge of the Map (from This is NOT What I Ordered): a woman turning 41 realizes that she is about to enter the final age category in most REs' success rate statistics. Screw that--she's refusing to give up hope of having a child with her own eggs, even if statistics (and conventional wisdom) say that it's time to start thinking seriously about Plan B. A must-read rallying cry for hope.
  • Got Meds? (from My Inconceivable Life): all the frustration, fear, and anguish of loss races through her head as she goes to pick up her fertility drugs from the pharmacist. A post that rests of the edge of tears.
  • On Being Young and Infertile (from This Sorta Fairytale): a post that blows away the myths of being young and infertile.
  • Nothing for Granted (from Elevated Umbrella): a loss and a change in perspective. The holidays look different, pregnancy looks different, family-planning looks different.
  • My Hopes for Madelyn (from My Journey): before her daugther is born, a mother lists all the qualities she hopes to instill in her child conceived via IVF with ICSI.
  • Untitled (from Are We There Yet?): a heartbreaking post at the end of a cycle. A must-read for anyone who currently feels alone with infertility.
  • I'm At a Loss (from Tigger's Infertility Madness): an extremely raw post chronicling her thoughts on sex during infertility as well as her own hidden fears.
  • But My Husband REALLY Deserves a Baby (from Inconceivable): a gorgeous post singing the praises of her husband and why he truly deserves to be a father, all the while fearful that it will never happen for them.
  • Writing From Where I'm At (from Kir's Corner): how we each see the world through a lens shaped by our experience at the time.
  • Halfway There (from Our Own Creation): a few months away from trying IVF, the author wonders how one knows if they're making the right decision.
  • Testing, Testing: the HSG (from Managing the Sweetness Within): walking you straight through the HSG experience from hell.
  • Advice (from Flutter of Hope): a beautiful open note explaining infertility to the non-infertile world. A must-read for anyone trying to explain the emotional pain of infertility to someone who doesn't understand.
  • The Comebacks (from The Sweet Life): good comebacks for all of those annoying infertility related questions. Must try out the "oh, you mean he has to put it inside me?" one next time someone asks if we're doing everything right...
  • A Lot Can Happen in a Month (from My Grasp at Sanity): an HSG and collecting her pee for a Cushing Syndrome test to boot!
  • On Injury and Loss (from good as it gets?): a gorgeous post explaining the pain of loss--from the failed cycle to pregnancy loss.
  • I Found It (from Diary of an Infertile Mad Woman): a dark entry written during the time when she found the bottom of her soul.
  • Getting Everyone Up to Speed (from Looking for 2 Lines): a new blog in the Blogosphere and this is the perfect post to get you caught up on her journey as she enters IUI with injectibles.
  • Untitled (from Max's Mommy): a raw, frank entry that will bring you to tears--when the worst that can happen does. This is the mourning that comes after a loss.
  • Living in my Skin (from Journeywoman): how our life experiences prepare us for parenthood--a woman discusses how the reactions of others to her weight has given her unique insight into the possible emotional experiences of her daughter-to-be.
  • Over the First Hurdle (from Chasing China): finally DTC at the beginning of the year, it's an entry filled with hope and excitement. Or, as Dee says, "It's from the time before we were beaten down by every imaginable delay. I sounded hopeful then."
  • Dealing (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby): there are two kinds of people in life--those who strap on their own life vest and those who wait for someone to rescue them. And this is about learning how to strap on your own life vest.
  • Crazy Talk (from Herveryown): what happens when a woman tries to navigate the medical system in order to have a prescription filled. You'll be laughing through tears.
  • You Want Answers? (from The Tragic Optimist): pregnant after infertility, the Tragic Optimist answers all of those common pregnancy questions--stirrup queen style.
  • From the Outside (from Plan B): a post written by Tara's surrogate about the power of prayer and how she came to carry Tara's child for her. A beautiful post on friendship.
  • The Happiest Infertile on the Block (from The Smarshy Files): an absolutely brilliant discovery of how to speak to an infertile woman--at the very least, his wife--and extremely funny to boot.
  • Secrets (from T.K.O...more or less): the dirty, deep, dark blogging secret that most don't have the guts to admit. What happens when infertile bloggers get pregnant.
  • 2007 (from Perpetually Waiting): technically published in January, this post sums up the final cycle of 2006. And it is a small microcosm for the entire infertile experience. The suckiness of treatments, the highs of a positive, and the lows of a loss. It is a literal roller coaster where Meg wonders how she can step off and return to the person she was before she ever got on the ride.
  • Stick It (from City Girl Tales): a fellow needlephobe admits the real deal behind giving oneself an injection. A must-read for anyone who just cried after giving themselves their first injection.
  • Last Night=Bad (from It Could Take 3 Months): when infertility changes how you view yourself. Or, as the author eloquently said, this post "represents the first time I was truly struck by the shittiness of IF, how it was affecting every aspect of my life, and how difficult this journey is emotionally."
  • Good Words From My Husband (from Entrusted): an ode to her husband and her faith.
  • My B'shert (from Our Forever Family): living the life she was meant to have, a woman goes from childless to adopting three children and also pregnant--her forever family.
  • Dark Little Storm Cloud (from Carrying On): getting it out of her system--a post about loss and wishing for things that can't be.
  • Walking and Talking (from Certainly Not Cool Enough to Blog): an entry that comes after the death of her son, Thomas. It's clear to the world that women with strollers have children. But she is now a secret mother, Thomas's ambassador on earth, and that burden sometimes keeps her from starting those easy conversations that occur between mothers.
  • Ah Well (from Welcome to the Dollhouse): a wise, aching, gorgeous entry reminding us to celebrate the good moments even when the possibility of heartache is around the corner. A must-read for anyone pregnant after infertility or loss.
  • Craft Therapy (from The Mama, The Papa, and Baby Bear): a woman creates a tangible reminder to honour the child she lost during an ectopic pregnancy.
  • How I'm Feeling (from When's It Gonna Be My Turn?): when infertility literally brings us to our knees. Jules says it best with the last line: "See. This makes a strong, totally sane women, go completely bonkers." A moving, anguished post.
  • You Think You Know Me (from My Many Blessings): a woman can hide a lot behind a calm exterior. This amazing post shows a woman who is also stronger than she can ever imagine. A wise woman also takes care of herself. This is a rest stop on the road of healing.
  • A Clothes-on Consult (from Things get IF'fy): more informative than your own freakin' RE--a consult post IVZero yields information presented in a question and answer format (complete with resources at the end!). Excellent writing places you right in a third chair within the consult room.
  • Buy Some Waterproof Mascara (from Waiting for a Miracle): if you think it's hard to admit to infertility in a crowd of 7, trying coming out to a crowd of 7000. During a baby dedication ceremony at her church, her pastor asks all people experiencing infertility or pregnancy loss to stand for a special prayer. A piece of advice: make sure you're wearing waterproof mascara.
  • A Day of Remembrance (from Baby Proof): an incredibly moving post springing from the question: why can't she simply forget the painful memory of her first unfulfilled due date? A litany of all the painful memories of infertility and loss that she would like to forget, yet can't.
  • One Small Step (from Still Waiting): a short, sweet post about the happiness she feels for a fellow stirrup queen as she passes over the loss threshold and takes her current pregnancy farther than any other. Without one shred of "why not me!" mixed into her happiness.
  • A Couple of Things I'd Like You to Know (from The Oneliner): a list of all the things she wants to tell her future child about life prior to his or her conception or arrival. A entry to read on a night when you're really searching for something proactive you can do with your hope, especially for the end lines: "that you had a name months before we knew you were coming. That the thought of you not coming was more than either of your parents would accept. That even though it looked like it wasn't going to happen...that you weren't going to happen…. we held out hope."
  • Sixteen Fits and Conniptions (from What Am I?): religion returns to the family after many non-religious generations as the author finds comfort in singing a hymn to the Virgin Mary after a loss.
  • A Letter That Goes Unread (from The Woman Who Cried Pregnant): another gorgeous list of things the author will teach her son or daughter--once they are finally conceived or arrive. Again, a wonderful idea for a night when you have so much hope and need a place to lay it down in words.
  • Yep, I'll Be Violent If It Happens Again (from Cheese and Whine): fantastic post as J puts in her vote for most offensive question of the year: whenever J and her wife are discussing their quest to have a baby, someone inevitably asks, "Why don't you just, you know, find a guy at a bar one night and close your eyes for a few minutes and know, get it done that way?"
  • Welcome to the Dream Factory (from Of Course You'll Get Pregnant!): a post eloquently expressing the frustration she feels when people tell her that "of course you'll get pregnant" despite the fact that she ovulated three times in 2006...
  • Here Ye, Here Ye (from Baby Wanted: Apply Within): birthdays never made her feel old until she was trying to conceive. When she was younger, she imagined her life would look very different at 46, but she found the love of her life at 38. A moving post on the reality of something we all realize when experiencing infertility--when you can't conceive the one gift you truly want, all other material objects cannot fill that void.
  • How Do You Know? (from Postcards From the Mothership): after struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss to create her two children, the author asks how one knows when they're finished building their family. Especially when one takes into account the scars left by infertility and loss. A moving post without a clear answer.
  • Is it Possible? (from Hopeful Mother): musings about her RE--how is it possible to spend this much time with a person and not wonder what happens after he leaves the office?
  • Frustration and Undirected Anger (from Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies): a bad mood brings to the surface many of the author's fears and frustrations concerning fertility treatments--especially the fact that a positive beta will never be celebrated in the same way as it would have been before they started down this road.
  • 2 Years, 1 Month, 2 Weeks, 1 Day (from The Problem With Hope): reflecting on who she was two years ago when they started trying to conceive, before IUIs and IVF didn't work. The hope at the beginning and the understanding at the end.
  • Looking at Day-3 Embryos (from Getting Pregnant the High-Tech Way): the silver lining of IVF--you get to see the blueprints to your future child when you look at the embryos. A beautiful post about the complex system that needs to fall into place in order to gain the coveted positive beta.
  • Length (from Surviving My Loss): without her daughter to hold and measure, she depends on an autopsy report when that overwhelming mothering urge hits--that burning need to know your child. And in light of all that she has lost, a wry ending to the post that makes you smile through the tears.
  • Wreck Womb (from Inhospitable): can finding a uterine septum really be humourous? Yes, if you're reading it on Inhospitable.
  • A Cervical Cap Is Just Odd...Isn't It? (from You're Still Young!): could her husband ever imagine on their first date that one day they would be hanging out in an insemination room? A very funny post from the wacky and wonderful Shlomit.
  • Training Bras and Easter Dresses (from Oh Well...): a heartbreaking post about the loss of her daughter and how those tangible items--the training bras and Easter dresses--stop her in her tracks while she is shopping and make her remember Hope.
  • In Their Honor (from In Their Honor): an extensive list of public figures who have experienced pregnancy loss.
  • Walkin' Up a Tightrope (from Once More, With Feeling): a brown bag that once held treats for her as a child becomes a modern day hope chest for her baby-someday. It's a virtual life raft as she floats through infertility.
  • Matthew I and Matthew II (from No Matter How Small): two posts that tell the heartbreaking story of a medical termination after discovering her child had Trisomy 18 (originally posted in July, removed, and now reposted).
  • A Baby Story? No Thanks (from Fertility Blogs): TLC's A Baby Story went from being a cute distraction to the bane of her existence.
  • Adoption Story (from Baggage That Goes With Mine): running commentary from Bug, Baggage's extremely funny and adorable daughter, during Discovery Channel's Adoption Story. For what it's worth, I would watch Bug's Adoption Show.
  • My Problem with Empiric (from Oscar Wants a Playmate): the author questions the trend to treat first and ask questions later--wondering if she had just played the game and taken the Clomid when first offered, would she currently be pregnant or is she better off ruling out problems before beginning treatments. A well-thought-out post from the mind of a scientist.
  • What's a Defect, Mom? (from How to Make a Family): one side examining the infamous controversial article that appeared in the New York Times by Darshak M. Sanghavi on PGD.
  • Hold My Hope (from The Waiting Womb): perhaps we can't hold our own hope anymore, but we can hold the hope of another person. This entry will send chills down your arms--it is so beautiful and poignant.
  • Slow and Painful Way Back (from Bullet Proof Eggs): an extremely moving post detailing the mother she will be based out of the way that she was raised. A wonderful post for anyone who needs a moment to dream about how they will mother.

Off-topic Posts from Infertility or Loss Blogs

Blogs that Closed in 2006

We're so sorry to see these blogs missing from the Blogosphere. Every piece of writing changes a person's perspective of their own journey. The world was changed by their words.

Cancer Baby

Random Ramblings

A Barren Island

Gravida Zero



Tales of a Wessel


Infertility 2.0

Palatial Squalor

Laughter and Forgetting

Chez Miscarriage

One of Our Own

Life is Sweet, Baby

*Our philosophy is once an infertile, always an infertile. We like reading the whole spectrum--from newly diagnosed to veterans of treatments; those still filling out paperwork and those with completed adoptions; those who are trying to choose a donor and those parenting DI or DE kids; those who are completely confused on what to do and those who are peacefully--or not peacefully--living child-free. Infertility can become a new lens with which one views the world, and viewing the world includes parenting. I love to read blogs after the children have come--from the newborns to four-year-olds. And all of this is a long-winded way to say that if you have ever experienced infertility or pregnancy loss, we would love to keep adding your posts to this list year after year. Please don't disappear because you don't think you're part of the infertility community anymore. If your heart feels like it belongs here, you belong here.


Thalia said...

Thanks for doing this Mel, what a treasure trove!

Just one thing, Soper at Uterine Wars left, but she's back now, same address.

Lyrehca said...

Indeed, this list is great--thanks for compiling.

And as of yesterday, Cancer Baby's archives are still up, despite messages they'd be taken down in July. They're worth linking to--her writing was incredible.

TeamWinks said...

There are so many! I am so moved. It truly allows us to see that we aren't alone in our journey. Thank you Mel.

Anonymous said...

You have just killed any chance I had of productivity today.

Anonymous said...

I know what I'll be doing this weekend.

Thank you so much for putting this together!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Mel - I'm looking forward to reading and crying and laughing and finding myself, sadly, less alone.

Anonymous said...

What a great idea, Mel. As Thalia said, what a treasure trove! Now I know what I'M doing this weekend!

Anonymous said...

What a great list . . . and to think I was trying to actually get something accomplished at work today. Thanks for doing this. I also like how inclusive you are--that all who have been touched by infertility belong to the community.

Anonymous said...

Also, one that has closed down, I believe, is the Naked Ovary.

Anonymous said...

In the six and a half hours that I've been at work today, I'm fairly certain that five of those hours have been spent reading Creme de la Creme blog entries.

Seriously, I don't know if I could have found anything more productive. What an amazing collection. What an amazing idea. Kudos to you, Mel, for dreaming up the concept and kudos to everyone who participated. I simply can't say enough.

theoneliner said...

I love it. I'm 1/2 way thru and am curled up on a rainy night with some hot tea reading others who are going thru what i am.
although alone...these are constant, sweet, human reminders that i am very much NOT alone.

Anonymous said...

What a great idea, Mel - in between my drug-induced naps I've been reading all of these. Love them love them love them.

Thanks for doing this!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful stuff Mel - thanks for putting this together!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

This is great. The thing that strikes me is the variation - there are so many different aspects discussed here. Could you have planned it better if you'd handed out topics?

I also laugh because I notice hardly anyone has blogged since the list went up. Guess we're too busy reading...


Kir said...

This is wonderful and I am almost done reading all of them. My heart is full and my eyes are too, it just seems that whenever I think I am alone, I am not. For some reason that comforts me more than you know.

The list is amazing, thank you for encouraging us to share this with each other!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this - I'll be working my way through each and every post over the next little while. Amazing! I'm so happy to have discovered this blog - I only wish I'd found it earlier!!

TraceyF said...

Thank you so much Mel,
I am happy to report that Although I have closed One Of Our Own, we are seeking adoption and have opened a new blog chronicalling our journey from beginning to end. We can happily be found at Seeking Bulcsu

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of great reads here!

Anonymous said...
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