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Monday, October 02, 2006

Trick or Treat

The LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC was playing outside tonight with his little friends when I ran out to the food store. And...perhaps this is why people told me that G-d would make me a mother when I was "ready"...but all I could think of was just wait until Halloween. Trick or treat? You've got to be kidding if you think I'm giving you candy after you wouldn't help me get rid of a cricket. There's a box of raisins in your future, my friend.
Added on 10/3/06: I'm taking all votes from now until Halloween night--what does the LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC get in his trick-or-treating bag?

So far, we have a toothbrush, apple, and pennies. And a single walnut in the shell.


Kris said...

Too funny. Throw in some pennies, too. The most useless item of money there is. Take that LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC!

C said...

Oh no, I vote that the LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC gets a toothbrush.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I'm taking all votes from now until Halloween night--what does the LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC get in his trick-or-treating bag?

My favourite house growing up was the one who gave a single walnut in a shell to every child. Seriously? A walnut? I aspire to be the walnut lady of the neighbourhood. The one imbedded in every child's Halloween memories. The crazy neighbourhood lady who gave the most useless item in the bag.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I was going to say an apple, but then I read your walnut comment and I think this kid deserves that!1

Anonymous said...

My vote's for a piece of unwrapped ribbon candy.

With lint on it.

KatieMc said...

I hate Halloween. It's not a religious thing. i just don't dig it.

I don't like giving out candy. It's expensive and I don't want to be the lady in teh neighborhood who gives out the cheap crap.

So I leave the porch lights off and close the blinds, hoping people get the hint. Some people don't. So I have to open the door and educate them.

No wonder G*d hasn't allowed me to have children.

I vote to take any dead insect and coat it in cheap melted chocolate. Chocolate covered insects -- breakfast of champions.

Kir said...

well what if LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC likes raisins? then what?

I say a toothbrush or pennies, because that will most definately NOT be his first choice.

oh I don't like halloween either, mostly it's because I hate anything scary but lately it's been because I just can't see all those cute kids at my door mocking my IF. I really need to "grow up" right?

Anonymous said...

A cricket! (Preferably a smushed one.)

Serenity said...

I like the walnut idea.

You could give him a rubber band, too. :)

LutherLiz said...


Smarshy said...

I think it should be a dead cricket. Or, better yet, a fake rubber one, so that when looks at it he freaks out and messes himself.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I had considered the dead-cricket-inside-a-candy-wrapper, but knew that would turn me off to mini snickers bars for the rest of my life.


Julie--unwrapped ribbon candy--is this aforementioned ribbon candy left over from last Christmas? I have a candy cane still in the pantry. Provided I unwrap it and leave it in my pocket for the next two weeks, I think it could suffice.

Lutherliz--is the floss of the dental variety? What do you think of "used" floss? From my garbage bin?

Serentity--it could be a walnut OR a rubberband. But walnut + rubberband equals broken window. I know this because it was the fate of the walnut house back in my old neighbourhood.

I recently found a half-sucked dum-dum lollipop stuck in the onion bin (rewrapped, of course, in its original cover). I'm adding it to the mix.

Anonymous said...

dh and I gave out potatoes last year. :)

aren't we mean? ;)