tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post8893254301804973671..comments2023-08-15T05:02:58.115-04:00Comments on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters: Poking the BearLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-25219073702809350402009-08-28T21:34:06.736-04:002009-08-28T21:34:06.736-04:00I'm bingo-ing this post too! I commented on t...I'm bingo-ing this post too! I commented on this post back when you first wrote it, but it was great to re-read it. <br /><br />Thank you so much for being an eloquent voice in our community.Mrs. Gamgeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18351339333625358960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-51270002439341388862009-08-28T21:16:49.167-04:002009-08-28T21:16:49.167-04:00Happy Blogger Bingo! :) I am here today because th...Happy Blogger Bingo! :) I am here today because the category is to find a post that contains an "update" before 7/1/09.<br /><br />I recall reading this the first time around the time you wrote. I too was one of the somewhat oblivious bloggers (who didn't know what incidents you were referring to at the time). However that doesn't mean I haven't witnessed comments on my or other's blogs that didn't seem to have the best of intentions.<br /><br />I appreciate the "poking the bear" expression and admire you for speaking up/out during a time when you felt it was needed. I really like the distinctions you made in this post between anger and drama (as it relates to how we fight), as well as the difference between being a “leader” and a “guider” (especially when it comes to parenting). <br /><br />Thank you for another thought provoking and peace inspiring post.Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04175833982955486083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-17287286615012890622009-08-28T11:52:56.129-04:002009-08-28T11:52:56.129-04:00I know I commented on this post back in May with a...I know I commented on this post back in May with a simple 'thank you' but in light of it still happening to a long-time blogger who loves the support from her commenters (the ones she is not forced to delete), I thought it would be good timing to post again. <br /><br />I'm glad she chose to delete the nasty comments and not promote the mean back and forths but sad she had to do it in the first place. <br /><br />I think people who just bash-comment on blogs must lead sad, unfulfilled lives. I feel sorry for them. I know disagreement and discussion is healthy but hurtful words are never necessary.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-41621148680267171602009-05-27T06:05:57.208-04:002009-05-27T06:05:57.208-04:00Nicely said! xNicely said! xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-90938846928540622602009-05-25T04:18:19.062-04:002009-05-25T04:18:19.062-04:00cheers to chilling the fuck out.
late to the cir...cheers to chilling the fuck out. <br /><br />late to the circle here, but also rejecting the haters. I have no energy for that. why bother?lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-65716087339612487712009-05-24T03:46:10.512-04:002009-05-24T03:46:10.512-04:00You know I have not noticed this recent drama, may...You know I have not noticed this recent drama, maybe I have not stumbled onto any of these blogs? If I do happen to stumble onto a negative post or comment on one of the blogs I read, i usually don't continue reading. Just don't need it. I get enough drama living in Cairo, don't want it online as well, no thank you.<br /><br />I know people deal differently with hearing about pregnancy. Negativity from one of us, an infertile, about someone getting pregnant it something I cannot deal with at all. Whenever I see that I close immediately. Again I understand some people can't deal with it or won't, thats cool, but I choose not to read their opinions at.all.<br /><br />I think I am going to enable anonym commenting right now, lets see if the haters come out. Kidding.Wishing 4 Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13569405415176468436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-6212706670228083272009-05-23T00:59:57.140-04:002009-05-23T00:59:57.140-04:00How funny. I just got a mildly hateful anon commen...How funny. I just got a mildly hateful anon comment on my blog today and was just sitting here thinking "eh.. fuck it. I'm tired of the drama" and just let it sit. (I only delete spam.) <br />Then I opened my reader and read this post. <br />I'm taking it as a sign that I did the right thing. <br /><br />All this to say- I'm sittin' in your circle.Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04150585209390355119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-85210418767449473682009-05-23T00:47:54.229-04:002009-05-23T00:47:54.229-04:00I'm pretty oblivious to all the drama except what ...I'm pretty oblivious to all the drama except what happened a few weeks ago. <br /><br />I am sitting with you in the circle, Mel. Life is dramatic enough with IF to have my favorite outlet being cluttered with it, too.<br /><br />Thanks for your courage in this post.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14683127027917195775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-39078958395599596082009-05-22T17:42:58.166-04:002009-05-22T17:42:58.166-04:00I'm also oblivious, but I enjoyed this post and am...I'm also oblivious, but I enjoyed this post and am striving to be part of a supportive community. I will remember this if drama ever flares up in my small corner of the blogsphere.Hillaryhttp://makingmemom.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-26503853663343348322009-05-22T10:39:03.255-04:002009-05-22T10:39:03.255-04:00Like many others, I tend to stay in my same circle...Like many others, I tend to stay in my same circle and haven't been exposed to much of the anger circulating the blogosphere lately. Which is good as I cry easily these days. Damn hormones.<br /><br />I believe this is a very thoughtful, well spoken post. I especially like your contrast between anger and drama - so very true. <br /><br />I don't think of you as a leader so much as your blog site being the campfire of the ALI community. We can come here, share our story, receive information, comfort and, most important, empathy. I know when I found this community, I was already hurting so much. Why add to that pain by spewing hate?<br /><br />I will sit around your campfire and sway to the music anytime.Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11509124764568535676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-62703215178922952662009-05-22T09:46:38.355-04:002009-05-22T09:46:38.355-04:00I think it's hard to find the time and inspiration...I think it's hard to find the time and inspiration to comment on posts I really enjoy, let alone annoying bloggers with negative comments. I don't see why it's so hard to click away.<br /><br />I often roll my eyes at things I read, but even if I'm driven to comment, there is a way to do it, lordy. As much as I love to write my blog and read others' blogs, I don't ever understand the pack mentality that's involved when a furor arises.MsPrufrockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06533722219016814501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-75921362895842193972009-05-22T01:38:25.164-04:002009-05-22T01:38:25.164-04:00Thank you for addressing this, Mel. I, too, have s...Thank you for addressing this, Mel. I, too, have seen and felt the negative tone that has begun to permeate through the community. There have been a number of comments and posts that have shocked me, and I hurt for the people affected. <br /><br />So, I am with you. I will continue to keep my pledge to help rather than hurt, encourage rather than degrade, and support rather than fan the fire.Staciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01471803757485977959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-71459354429514455622009-05-22T00:45:18.905-04:002009-05-22T00:45:18.905-04:00I just want to say that I have found your blog and...I just want to say that I have found your blog and your occasional comment and email response to be beyond helpful. This place in cyberspace is a refuge and a priceless resource to me. Keep up the stellar work! you are an amazing heartfelt woman and teh world is better because you are in it.Cajun Cutiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14825687783196553820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-70802874522913645562009-05-22T00:13:37.868-04:002009-05-22T00:13:37.868-04:00Huh, at least I'm not the oblivious one (the comme...Huh, at least I'm not the oblivious one (the comments seem to echo I'm not alone in not knowing it was going on). The only clues I've had to it have been here? And that's not to point fingers at all, cuz I get that you're talking about stuff you're seeing, and that's what we're all supposed to be here to do - talk about life - but I'm just surprised to read there's more going on? Like you, I don't do drama, so the few bad comments I've had, I've ignored. And when there's been pissy comments elsewhere, I try to just stay out of it. Yea, having opinions matters, and standing behind those opinions matters, but sometimes it's just not worth the drama. Drama's exhausting.chicklethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16090701824999372199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-15161942055457732222009-05-21T17:23:39.387-04:002009-05-21T17:23:39.387-04:00I guess I am one of the lucky oblivious ones too.
...I guess I am one of the lucky oblivious ones too.<br /><br />I wonder if the recent May holiday has anything to do with it? It certainly makes me more touchy.Kamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01215000341567119958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-74945504779831174482009-05-21T13:39:58.523-04:002009-05-21T13:39:58.523-04:00I didn't get the drama from any of the blogs I rea...I didn't get the drama from any of the blogs I read, but I felt it was out there because of the goings-on of a certain mailing list (those who were on it will know what it was). It made me really sad because I always loved how endlessly understanding and supportive this community seemed to be. I would've liked to address it myself, but your voice in this community is a lot louder than mine, Mel. Thanks for saying something.Meganhttp://ttc.shinkick.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-60472781619102279712009-05-21T13:21:41.908-04:002009-05-21T13:21:41.908-04:00There's a lot of comments about how readers leave ...There's a lot of comments about how readers leave the drama, often leaving the blog entirely and I don't know, I feel kind of sad about that. When someone bullies your friend IRL people stand up and say, "don't do that to my friend," but it often doesn't happen here in the blog world. Do you guys even like the folks you are reading? Do you really have nothing vested, you honestly don't care about the individual people whose lives you read about? What are people trying to get out of the blogs they read, especially when they so easily leave when things get tough for someone? I've had it happen to me where I've felt so hurt. All I wanted was for people to say they were behind me and everything would be okay. I hope this comment isn't distasteful. I do feel like there's something in the air lately.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14950667009108390498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-80345402876766845782009-05-21T12:59:11.258-04:002009-05-21T12:59:11.258-04:00I, too, feel sad and disgusted by the trolls that ...I, too, feel sad and disgusted by the trolls that use anonymous mean comments to releast their pent-up rage when they aren't cutting people off in traffic. <br /><br />On my blog I don't allow anonymous comments because my feelings get hurt too easily. I've only had one mean comment on my blog as a result, and I decided to reply to her in an e-mail instead of on the blog, in order to avoid drama. I'm always sad when I see bloggers replying to trolls in a post because everyone needs to know, as soon as they start blogging...just DON'T feed the trolls.<br /><br />Hugs to everyone. Kumbaya.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-26562206954854509332009-05-21T11:35:56.786-04:002009-05-21T11:35:56.786-04:00I, too, am mostly oblivious of the drama to which ...I, too, am mostly oblivious of the drama to which you refer. Regardless, I will sit in the circle with you.<br /><br />I come here for peace and to escape drama. Which, I know, seems silly considering the emotion-laden subject matter of the blogs I read. They're heavy, for sure. But still not usually "drama"-filled. I desperately hope it stays that way. <br /><br />Thank you for this post and the friendly reminder. Oh, and like a previous commenter, I too am intrigued by how you run your household :) Love the concept of allowing your twins to be equals whenever possible. Would love to read more about that.Bluebirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05026618678540051581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-13066951596256398312009-05-21T10:37:14.685-04:002009-05-21T10:37:14.685-04:00I personally think that anger is a natural respons...I personally think that anger is a natural response to grief that many of us feel in dealing with infertility. The problem is when that anger is acted out. My theory is that a lot of this anger is welling up in reaction to Mother's Day, which in and of itself will expose grief around infertility, whether you have kids or not. I noticed this last year, when I was the victim of some nasty blog-hate. I think we don't have very good ways of dealing with the anger from our grief in our society. Most people don't understand why we can't get over it. If you want to tell me about your story of grief, come on over to my blog.Phoebehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07668069274859889749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-89161398547664741922009-05-21T06:15:38.668-04:002009-05-21T06:15:38.668-04:00I forgot to add:
I also refuse to leave any negati...I forgot to add:<br />I also refuse to leave any negative comments. I may leave constructive criticism comments but I try my hardest to make sure my comments are clear and concise to avoid any misunderstanding. I firmly believe what goes around, comes around and if I only put positive out there, I will only get that back. And for those negative commenter's just know if that doesn't work, karma is a bitch.. if you want to be an ass, who am I to stop you? Just understand you will officially be known as that in my book, a little notation goes down in my mental roledex and you lose all credibility in my book. Blatant negativity is a a big no-no in my world. I have too many other problems in my life to worry about random bitchiness.<br />*ICLW*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-26973933914305411062009-05-21T05:37:41.339-04:002009-05-21T05:37:41.339-04:00I have been a very active blog lurker for years an...I have been a very active blog lurker for years and sadly have slowly seen an increase in the snarky, rude, asinine, or downright mean comments. <br />I am especially afraid of having such comments pointed towards me since I suffer from open-mouth-insert-foot disease and lack any significant verbal filter. <br /><br />Commenter's on my blog are required to enter a name and email, which obviously can be faked. I also have placed a warning on my about page basically stating stupid people with stupid comments will be penalized.<br /><br />My only hope is that people will start to recognize the negativity for what it is worth and redirect that energy elsewhere, like throwing me a kick ass birthday party!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-31932360344427690642009-05-21T04:42:38.261-04:002009-05-21T04:42:38.261-04:00What a fantastic and very well worded post. I will...What a fantastic and very well worded post. I will admit that it doesn't usually bother me when some one comments back on an anonymous commenter but can see where it's also wasted energy for the most part. I guess I tend to feel a need to defend myself. The one anonymous comment that I've received that was truly nasty I very much wanted to be able to e-mail the person and say "but you misunderstood what I said" and I couldn't do that. As far as the drama from lately, it's been frustrating and I too hope it ends soon.battynursehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02240029154165501340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-30022152333347019352009-05-21T04:17:36.122-04:002009-05-21T04:17:36.122-04:00"You hold your tongue, you find a way to put closu..."You hold your tongue, you find a way to put closure on a fight, you take that first step forward. And I think we do the same thing in writing for the sake of shalom kehilat--a peaceful blogosphere."<br /><br />- Very good adviceJoehttp://theonlineschoolsearch.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-16466771461153282492009-05-21T02:34:49.978-04:002009-05-21T02:34:49.978-04:00Here's to a fresh start!
*ICLW*Here's to a fresh start!<br /><br />*ICLW*..alhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679149270839974470noreply@blogger.com