tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post7761128551423953464..comments2023-08-15T05:02:58.115-04:00Comments on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters: The Stirrup Queen's Holiday Survival GuideLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-72823654081823689652008-11-17T21:14:00.000-05:002008-11-17T21:14:00.000-05:00Wow...amazing post and thank you. Totally started...Wow...amazing post and thank you. Totally started me crying (especially the note to put in my pocket, which I will), which is what I'll fear will occur all throughout the holiday. My last fertility treatment was unsuccessful and we'll continue this road into 09. I dread those who are clueless and ask "So, when will you start having children?" I'm not sure I'll be able to keep myself contained this year.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14415345830803837248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-29502978311878339002008-11-14T15:31:00.000-05:002008-11-14T15:31:00.000-05:00The day after our last BFN (in August) I declared ...The day after our last BFN (in August) I declared that this year we were taking the coward's way out. For the first time in 15 years, we're abandoning my MIL and her sister and spending four lovely nights in a small cabin in Luray, VA. (Think wood-burning stove and hot tub on a deck with a veiw of a snowy valley.)<BR/><BR/>Of course, we can only get away with this once, and I'm already worrying about not being pregnant in time for Christmas NEXT year. Sigh.<BR/><BR/>I'm going to print out your little note and keep it in my wallet. Your survival guide could not have been better timed.the Babychaser:https://www.blogger.com/profile/12205229469287159556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-70326257179608244322008-11-11T17:17:00.000-05:002008-11-11T17:17:00.000-05:00We are using an avoidance strategy - home remodeli...We are using an avoidance strategy - home remodeling on Thanksgiving (a can of pumpkin-colored paint, anyone? - please pass the jigsaw) and a trip to Mexico in December. New Years? Aw shoot, I didn't think of that one yet!Ya Chunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08816837461370619194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-5366108768815624112008-11-11T11:38:00.000-05:002008-11-11T11:38:00.000-05:00Love your note, I just might print it and take it ...Love your note, I just might print it and take it with me, just because the twins are here doesn't mean the hurt of the holidays have gone away. As always, YOU ROCK. <BR/><BR/>and as for our xmas card, we always send a pic of us, normally from Aruba because we are there right after Thanksgiving and it was our "giving the Finger to Infertility" card. This year, I wanted to make sure that we took a "family" picture on vacation so that Mr Kir and I weren't left out of the picture that has become our "family" for years now. Somethings I feel are "ours" and I want to keep it that way, even though the picture of our family has changed.Kirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17894442143508446312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-14277629072589875952008-11-10T22:02:00.000-05:002008-11-10T22:02:00.000-05:00I am scare. Last December was spent in Denver goin...I am scare. Last December was spent in Denver going thru IVf for the second time. It worked! found out dec 29 I was pregnant for first time. Lost Baby in May. Just went thru egg retrieval 2 weeks ago and only 4 embryos frozen. Won't find out info until december on the genetic testing. Meanwhile, I get to try to plan Holidays with my inlaws and sis in law with a 2 year old. Its going to be Hell. thanks for the advice...may take a lot of personal time away. Though my husband says my "wall" I put up is getting bigger. any suggestionsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-78039134133349596992008-11-07T17:23:00.001-05:002008-11-07T17:23:00.001-05:00P.S. Love your note.BeaP.S. Love your note.<BR/><BR/>BeaBeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-82824133206830936772008-11-07T17:23:00.000-05:002008-11-07T17:23:00.000-05:00Great survival guide. Thanks for these tips. I h...Great survival guide. Thanks for these tips. I have nothing to add except maybe move internationally...<BR/><BR/>BeaBeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-21494283934398550082008-11-07T16:14:00.000-05:002008-11-07T16:14:00.000-05:00I started listening to holiday music in August thi...I started listening to holiday music in August this year. I'm using it as my own private technique for connecting with the joy of the season early enough that I won't suddenly get trampled in the crush of child-centric images, events, and conversations coming my way during the *actual* season. I want this year to be different!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-36818070791770444752008-11-06T22:00:00.000-05:002008-11-06T22:00:00.000-05:00This is such a great post. First - it's functiona...This is such a great post. First - it's functional. All of the advice is great and will be put to good use. Second - it reminds me that I am not the only one cringing at the thought of the holidays or tearing up while listening to talk of children and their first Christmas.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for this, Mel.Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11509124764568535676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-63750290612598203812008-11-06T19:18:00.000-05:002008-11-06T19:18:00.000-05:00I often forget you are an IF who is ttc. Well, may...I often forget you are an IF who is ttc. Well, maybe not actively ttc yet. (are you?) (and I was also super surprised to find out you did IUI w/ injects for the twins. How many follies did you have?)<BR/><BR/>I dont know why I forget. It's NOT because you already have kids. I was a ttc IFer with kids, so that doesn't do it for me. But maybe because you just seem like our home room teacher. You discuss all these things. You bring us together. But it's like seeing your teacher in the grocery store. She seems out of place. And that's how I feel about YOU ttc. Not being out of place really, just not actually being a ttcer. <BR/><BR/>Good post though. Like always, you are incredibly thoughtful.nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04479202205264710056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-16728433075328337932008-11-06T16:15:00.000-05:002008-11-06T16:15:00.000-05:00Love the Holiday helpful ideas.This year I solved ...Love the Holiday helpful ideas.<BR/><BR/>This year I solved my problem in the cowardly fashion... I offered to work. I work at a domestic violence shelter, which is open 24/7... So I figure I might as well. I can get paid double time as well, so it's all sorts of awesome.AnotherDreamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11487881766884178761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-58117705518981182632008-11-06T13:43:00.000-05:002008-11-06T13:43:00.000-05:00I just ignore the holidays. And the rest of the y...I just ignore the holidays. And the rest of the year, I stay far, far away from any family members whose existence reminds me of things I don't want to be reminded of. And, if someone mentions them, I change the topic. Or cover my ears. Or run out of the room screaming.niobehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10685766216611639434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-21381169187049094372008-11-06T11:54:00.000-05:002008-11-06T11:54:00.000-05:00Alcohol. That's my trick to make it through.Luckil...Alcohol. That's my trick to make it through.<BR/>Luckily, we don't have huge family celebrations for Christmas (neither of my siblings have children and Al's family is Muslim) and Thanksgiving I am too busy eating to care about anythign else.<BR/>But I like your list! I think the note idea is a good one for any situation.Iohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00918928563224342054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-32827655787401319242008-11-06T11:40:00.000-05:002008-11-06T11:40:00.000-05:00All of our friends have been sending photo X-mas c...All of our friends have been sending photo X-mas cards in the past years. In previous years, we'd send an awesome vacation photo. Like- heh!- we still had fun this year!MrsSpockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10792687516201324640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-71981324747708137382008-11-06T11:37:00.000-05:002008-11-06T11:37:00.000-05:00This is awesome!! Thank you Thank you!This is awesome!! Thank you Thank you!G$https://www.blogger.com/profile/05010373805685335151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-9942260653539831132008-11-06T11:07:00.000-05:002008-11-06T11:07:00.000-05:00This year I talked to all of my friends and family...This year I talked to all of my friends and family and we all agreed we would not exchange gifts with each other, but would buy only one gift for each kid. This is sales pitch I used. "The downturn in the economy is causing me to rethink the Holidays, would you be interested in not exchanging gifts this year?" They will be all for it, trust me. Next, I convinced one of my friends and her family to join my family for Thanksgiving. We will be going out to dinner for Thanksgiving. We have not picked the place yet, but I know we won't need reservations. Finally the best part, my in-laws are not going to come for Thanksgiving. They are going to my sister in-laws house instead because they are having a home cooked meal. Don't get me wrong, I love my in-Laws. It's just that this year is my year!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-81762772702710920042008-11-06T11:05:00.000-05:002008-11-06T11:05:00.000-05:00I seem to have mainlined this post. It seeped all...I seem to have mainlined this post. It seeped all the way in, deep down to my core. If you check your blog stats, you will see that I have been hovering here for a couple of hours. I could only read the post in little pieces, it struck so very close to the heart. This comment alone has taken half an hour. (Scenario of crying at work: feel the tears come, refuse to blink, minimize browser, dig fingernails into palm, refuse to blink, distract self, blink, tears flow, sniff, hide, distract self, eventually maximize browser, lather rinse, repeat.)<BR/><BR/>Thank you for the note, it is what sent me over the edge. But knowing that you are there at the edge with me/us?<BR/><BR/>There are no words. And yet I'll leave you with a sincerely heartfely <I>thank you</I>, anyway.Patriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05556535711209804501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-26506665291384537652008-11-06T10:48:00.000-05:002008-11-06T10:48:00.000-05:00Even having Lil' P I still find the holidays diffi...Even having Lil' P I still find the holidays difficult, I seems to find memories of what was--- thanks Mel.Grad3https://www.blogger.com/profile/01507004280070094471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-86370406534707498362008-11-06T09:22:00.000-05:002008-11-06T09:22:00.000-05:00I cringe everytime I hear in-laws and holidays. I ...I cringe everytime I hear in-laws and holidays. I am printing out several copies of this (just in case).Thank you very muchAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-29777108519212200462008-11-06T09:01:00.000-05:002008-11-06T09:01:00.000-05:00Thank you, thank you, thank you. In addition to t...Thank you, thank you, thank you. In addition to the holidays, I have a baby shower next weekend that I cannot get out of, so this came at the perfect time! And thanks to Loribeth for the tip about finding out Santa's hours before heading to the mall. Mel, you are the best.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17130181082508829590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-89553336852464695882008-11-06T08:07:00.000-05:002008-11-06T08:07:00.000-05:00One tip I figured out early on: If you can't s...One tip I figured out early on: If you can't shop online & have to go to the mall, find out what hours Santa will be there -- & then go when he's not around. There won't be as many kids & babies around to deal with then. <BR/><BR/>I manage to work in a reference to Katie in every edition of our Christmas letter... usually in relation to our volunteer work. But I like being able to remind people that she was real & is still a part of our lives. My Christmas card itself usually has either an angel or Classic Pooh theme (which was also the theme of her nursery). I know other people who use angel stamps on their cards as a subtle reminder of their lost baby(s).loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-78983718850338012672008-11-06T05:53:00.000-05:002008-11-06T05:53:00.000-05:00Love this post. Great primer for getting through ...Love this post. Great primer for getting through the holidays! I'll be taking this to heart, even though I have a daughter. Now that she's 8 years old, I get a lot of relatives at holidays asking the "Are you ever having another child?" I would never ask anyone that question.......Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07843760065614670505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-59867697696788765782008-11-06T04:55:00.000-05:002008-11-06T04:55:00.000-05:00Budgeting for your own happiness... does anyone ev...Budgeting for your own happiness... does anyone ever do this enough? What a wise one you are.<BR/><BR/>I am incapable of leaving a question that you ask unanswered, so I will tell you the only trick I have up my sleeve: the holiday card. Most holiday cards we receive are either generic package-of-12 types or pictures of kids/families. We send out cards every year that routinely get responses that it was the best card they've gotten all year, or sometimes the best card ever. Sometimes one fabulous photo of us in some fabulous locale; sometimes a whole series around the world (which it will have to be again this year). We used to just have a normal photo card, but now we include a newsy update of career progress and travels. The people with kids (or limited funds, or limited outlook) say, "Wow, your life is amazing. I'm stuck here at home." I'm not <I>trying</I> to make them feel envious of us, but envy is way better than pity.Baby Smiling In Back Seathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06483533946303787478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-2745077520315460642008-11-06T02:26:00.000-05:002008-11-06T02:26:00.000-05:00I'm am about the shopping online thing as well... ...I'm am about the shopping online thing as well... still, it seems like half the presents we're buying are BABY CLOTHES !!! (eergh !)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-51109043812189034952008-11-06T00:40:00.000-05:002008-11-06T00:40:00.000-05:00It's been seven years since we had to navigate the...It's been seven years since we had to navigate the holiday minefields, but I still remember. I didn't fake it very well . . . your advice is kind and reasonable - as always!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com