tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post6792038927574198281..comments2023-08-15T05:02:58.115-04:00Comments on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters: Come On Get Happy, Part OneLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-47570482613458780702007-08-27T11:43:00.000-04:002007-08-27T11:43:00.000-04:00Sounds great! I am in!Sounds great! I am in!Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12059910119763568973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-78531776183084086712007-08-22T19:00:00.000-04:002007-08-22T19:00:00.000-04:00Wow, what you said is so true. When I thought abou...Wow, what you said is so true. When I thought about it before reading the first word that popped into my head when I thought about happiness was peace. This whole IF journey has brought me to a point where I am just longing for peace. Peace with IF, peace with myself, peace with the possibility of not having kids. But I agree with what you've said here and I know that happiness is the goal in my life, regardless of whether or not I become a parent. Though, that would be nice too! :)RBandRChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06018306370247688896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-89225169022141151452007-08-22T12:14:00.000-04:002007-08-22T12:14:00.000-04:00One thing I noted about happiness when we started ...One thing I noted about happiness when we started the adoption process, was that I forgot how to process happiness. I had been beaten down so long, and so accustomed to having to deal with disappointment, that I forgot what it was like to actually experience joy. So when you talk about things like post partum depression, perhaps it is due to some of what I describe. When I was first told the month in which I would travel to get my son I sobbed and refused to believe it..the poor woman from the agency thought I lost my mind...Yeah Sohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03989848317356232631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-8624741978021382992007-08-22T08:10:00.000-04:002007-08-22T08:10:00.000-04:00I didn't expect to have this post of all posts you...I didn't expect to have this post of all posts you have written to hit me so profoundly. I never realized I too thought that parenthood was the direct link to happiness. I had tunnel vision. No surprise there. I'm on board with you Mel.TeamWinkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00750935087962085588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-73732209536712350292007-08-21T21:35:00.000-04:002007-08-21T21:35:00.000-04:00This reminds me a lot of my thinking earlier how I...This reminds me a lot of my thinking earlier how I need to apprecaite my journey for what it is, mine. I need a lot of help remembering that in certain moments of my life. Perhaps it will be easier if I can be happy.<BR/><BR/>I'm in.Grad3https://www.blogger.com/profile/01507004280070094471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-21103748181288084442007-08-21T20:38:00.000-04:002007-08-21T20:38:00.000-04:00I'm in. Can't wait to be happier...I'm in. Can't wait to be happier...ms. chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369055212101853503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-9358659319034844682007-08-21T19:58:00.000-04:002007-08-21T19:58:00.000-04:00Sounds intriguing!Sounds intriguing!andrea_jenninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11450998281852176512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-52049079613119676142007-08-21T18:47:00.000-04:002007-08-21T18:47:00.000-04:00I love the "children are like money" analogy. Very...I love the "children are like money" analogy. Very true. Our toddler has brought endless joy to our lives, and yet...parenting is hard, and when I'm needy myself, it would be easier (I think?) without him.bonniekayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02694979480804016214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-73099103650822707772007-08-21T16:59:00.000-04:002007-08-21T16:59:00.000-04:00Word. I need some happy thoughts and goals=) Im on...Word. I need some happy thoughts and goals=) Im on board!JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18027548058304720360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-47199822896079818212007-08-21T16:24:00.000-04:002007-08-21T16:24:00.000-04:00I'm game!I'm game!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05181924375187173030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-3622073445808195822007-08-21T16:18:00.000-04:002007-08-21T16:18:00.000-04:00You are absolutely right about the assuming happin...You are absolutely right about the assuming happiness comes with motherhood. We have tried to remain happy and have a life in the present, but it is so hard when you happiness seems to be pivoted on one thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-11912390153339623042007-08-21T14:50:00.000-04:002007-08-21T14:50:00.000-04:00I think you are right Mel, that a lot of us along ...I think you are right Mel, that a lot of us along the way create a shortcut in our heads where parenthood = happiness. And sometimes after we do that, we aren't happy with anything short of parenthood. I certainly was guilty of it. It haunted me for a long time. Until I decided I was going to be happy anyway. And I am. We aren't planning to be child free forever, but we'll be happy anyway. The shift in perspective really really mattered.<BR/><BR/>And Jenna, I also lived the "next year at this time I'll be a mom" thing for a long time. I finally turned it off and asked others (particularly my dear hubby and mother) to do the same. Instead of ruining my holidays by forecasting, I get to enjoy them just for what they are now.<BR/><BR/>Dang that got long. But I'll play along.SarahSewshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16942500174012557069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-8642976694520677662007-08-21T14:06:00.000-04:002007-08-21T14:06:00.000-04:00I had never linked the PADS (post-adoption depress...I had never linked the PADS (post-adoption depression syndrome) I experienced after my 2nd (and last) adoption to IF.<BR/><BR/>Hmmmmm. I'll have to think about it in the context of a pressure valve...verry interesting.<BR/><BR/>You always make me think.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-20967876478146760212007-08-21T13:21:00.000-04:002007-08-21T13:21:00.000-04:00Count me in, Mel. I think this idea will really be...Count me in, Mel. I think this idea will really be of benefit to those of us who aren't quite certain how, or whether, to resolve childlessness. I recently read "Stumbling on Happiness" and found it very applicable to dealing with infertility.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-24656327572530052712007-08-21T13:17:00.000-04:002007-08-21T13:17:00.000-04:00Recently I posted something along these lines. Ea...Recently I posted something along these lines. Each year I would say, "next year at this time I'll be a mom" and time and time again it hasn't happened. But this year I'm just saying "next year at this time I'll have better days." My thought about this is that by expanding the profile I'll have a greater chance of it coming true. If the goal isn't necessarily to be a mother, but rather to be happy, perhaps there is something in addition to parenthood I can attain.<BR/> <BR/>http://epilogue.inconceivablejourney.com/2007/08/20/next-year-at-this-time.aspx<BR/><BR/>Good work Mel. I'm game.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com