tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post5412657203016353526..comments2023-08-15T05:02:58.115-04:00Comments on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters: Barren Advice: FiveLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-84880979639649120712008-05-21T17:56:00.000-04:002008-05-21T17:56:00.000-04:00Anonymous - Emotions are a funny thing, aren't the...Anonymous - Emotions are a funny thing, aren't they? Even though we all know perfectly well this isn't a zero sum game, that one person's success isn't hinged on another's loss, it's still hard not to feel guilt or jealousy about those on the other side of the fence. As someone who hasn't yet had success, there are days when the stories of others' victories against infertility are inspiring and give me hope, and other days when those same stories are a painful reminder of what I don't have yet. It sounds like what you're feeling is sort of the flip side of that. We are all part of the infertility community and have shared a lot of the same pain and frustrations, but at the same time there's a reason why infertility forums will have separate sections called things like "primary infertility", "secondary infertility", and "pregnancy after IF". On those days when we're feeling the most vulnerable, sometimes we just want to be around those whose current situation most closely matches our own. As long as those days aren't most days or every day, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If the blogs of those still struggling are too painful for you to read or comment on, then don't. No one should hold that against you.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11998288317189612155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-47107263537549036502008-05-21T08:43:00.000-04:002008-05-21T08:43:00.000-04:00wow- bravo Mel!This was a truly outstanding column...wow- bravo Mel!<BR/>This was a truly outstanding column.<BR/><BR/>Anonymous- The thing about the failures and the bad news is that sadly there are other people in the thick of it that will rally around the woman in need of support. In fact sometimes the last person you want a comment from in times of loss is someone who isn't in the trenches. <BR/><BR/>It makes me so sad that women that have success have this sort of residual guilt, but this is what makes our community so effing beautiful. We are all so so empathetic with each other.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing your feelings here- it actually was pretty therapeutic for me to read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-90564165611502289962008-05-20T20:17:00.000-04:002008-05-20T20:17:00.000-04:00Antigone, I also hope that you don't get to find o...Antigone, I also hope that you don't get to find out this time. You have been very much in my thoughts. <BR/><BR/>Anonymous, my thought is that you have to protect yourself before you can support other people. Otherwise you'll burn out and be no good to anyone! :) I know, if it were me on the receiving end, I would rather you didn't try to support me if it were too much for you. For example, I had my missed due date one day and then announced my new pregnancy the next day. I got almost twice as many congratulations. I totally understood that. It is so much more difficult to know what to say to horrible things. And it is okay with me if people step away from me if my situation is too much. The great thing about this community is that there is always someone able to support, even when I cannot.HereWeGoAJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17457680345376171720noreply@blogger.com