tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post115555922719341968..comments2023-08-15T05:02:58.115-04:00Comments on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters: More on Gucci Gucci GooLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156314672926420012006-08-23T02:31:00.000-04:002006-08-23T02:31:00.000-04:00Well I want the Marc Jacobs purse because I'm diff...Well I want the Marc Jacobs purse because I'm difficult!<BR/><BR/>We are debating this right now. We have failed spectaclularly at getting pregnant so this is one of the next logical steps on our journey. We always said it was never a question that we would have a family - just a question of how. <BR/><BR/>Right now I don't want to leave any doors or windows closed - our baby is out there somewhere.<BR/><BR/>As far as I'm concerned, anyone that has an opinion on adoption can just remember how much they debated every moral issue they considered before their baby arrived.Sparklehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03105677499048659242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156312791181252222006-08-23T01:59:00.000-04:002006-08-23T01:59:00.000-04:00The 'of our own' thing really really bugs me. I se...The 'of our own' thing really really bugs me. I see it a lot, in the press etc., and it annoys me, and then I see it on the blog of an infertile and it troubles me even more. I know by the time they get to their child, they will realise that it's a child of their own, but it's sad, although perhaps not surprising, that it feels that way when they start the journey. <BR/><BR/>It's not surprising because we are trained, both at a base biological level, and at a social level, to believe that one of our most critical functions - after eating, drinking etc. - is reproduction. So of course it takes a tremendous force of will, processing, mourning, for most of us to recognise that biological reproduction just isn't going to work out for us.Thaliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12125639207843989848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156303641409110002006-08-22T23:27:00.000-04:002006-08-22T23:27:00.000-04:00What you are saying is totally true. I'm an adopt...What you are saying is totally true. I'm an adoptive mother, but I also believe that you have to be ready to go that route. It is a tough decision and it may not be for everyone. It's not something you can push. You just have to be able to say, okay, this is it. It's time to adopt. For me, that decision came early, for some it takes years, for others, it never comes. And that's okay. You have to do what's right for you.<BR/><BR/>Here's one more peice of information: adoption does not have to be expensive. My total costs for the adoption of my three children this year are $0!!!Bobby and Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01198363888782893588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156292309116819582006-08-22T20:18:00.000-04:002006-08-22T20:18:00.000-04:00I don't think that there is anything 'unatural' ab...I don't think that there is anything 'unatural' about adoption. What is more natural than taking a child into your home and being it's mother when it doesn't have one? <BR/><BR/>It is not natural for children to grown up in the world without love, without parents, without a safe, happy and loving home. <BR/><BR/>It always, always amazes me when people feel that they have the right to comment on how other people are living their lives. <BR/><BR/>Some people's thoughts about adoption come from a very similar place where prejudice and racism comes from. Fear. Fear of things that are different, fear that they don't have hearts big enough to give of themselves to a child that is not 'of their blood'. <BR/><BR/>It sucks that we sometimes give other people 'power' over us by caring about what they think. This is something I struggle with but really it's fuck them. It's not their lives.Murrayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01573589642469517860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156285855172116282006-08-22T18:30:00.000-04:002006-08-22T18:30:00.000-04:00I dont know if the "what country" game is healthy....I dont know if the "what country" game is healthy...but I do know that it cant be any unhealthier than the chemicals and hormones we have all pumped into our bodies trying to have a baby. Adoption has a higher success rate than any form of A.R.T.....<BR/>I understand the challenge secondary IF gives the decision process ("how can you rationalize the cost of IVF since you already have a child"- yes-someone actually said that to me...sadly enough- rationlization didnt play into the decision as much as finances did) <BR/>and come to think of it...is any part of this crappy IF process healthy?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156275992282274392006-08-22T15:46:00.000-04:002006-08-22T15:46:00.000-04:00Interesting...I'm an adoptive mother of 3 and I ha...Interesting...I'm an adoptive mother of 3 and I have been through the infertility route. These same things came across my mind and heart as we got to a place where adoption was where we wanted to be. I can attest to the fact that when you adopt (especially if it is obvious and mine is) people will ask, people will make comments you will see as rude, people will think what they will think. I have heard all the adoption comments that you can imagine. Sometimes I'm still floored by them. Other times I use it as an opportunity to educate others on adoption. Adoption was not last resort, it was just another means to become a family for me. Others comments do still bother me at times but you know what...you ladies are all right...at the end of the day I am these children's mother and they have brought me so much joy that nothing else really matters! <BR/><BR/>BTW...I'm probably not telling you anything you don't already know but this helped us out greatly where finances were concerned. You are aware of the adoption tax credit right?Gwenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12441284829216311939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156261556015480412006-08-22T11:45:00.000-04:002006-08-22T11:45:00.000-04:00What bugs me most about the "you can always adopt"...What bugs me most about the "you can always adopt" comment is that they look at adoption as a last resort. Like no one would want to adopt a child unless they *couldn't* conceive a child. I expect that if we tell people that we are planning on adopting, they'll automatically assume that we CANNOT have a baby of our own - when rather it was a CHOICE we made. That out of all the options before us, we believed that adoption was best for us.<BR/><BR/>I don't think it's wrong to care about what other people think. It drives me, anyway, to try and educate people about infertility and hopefully change someone's belief about "breast is best." Of course, I don't hold my breath - there are a lot of ignorant people out there.<BR/><BR/>But when we think about adoption, what those people might think about our choice does not figure in the equation. Like Kir said - when someone hands me a baby - whether from my womb or from an orphanage in Russia - I will be a mother. It will become MY baby. And we will be parents - which is all we ever wanted in the first place.Serenityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17765237663006604157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-1156256480651447762006-08-22T10:21:00.000-04:002006-08-22T10:21:00.000-04:00I could have written this post, mostly because sit...I could have written this post, mostly because sitting her wondering if this IUI worked , I know that my road might be very different in 2 months or 2 years. I don't want people to think that I didn't try hard enough and yet if we do adopt (which in my mind means that child is mine) I don't want people to think that I should have made that decision before we spent all this money on IUI/IVF. It can be double edged , but in the end when someone hands me my son or daughter, whether in a birthing room or the airport of another country, I will know deep down in me that the child I am holding is mine and was wished for for more than "people think"Kirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17894442143508446312noreply@blogger.com