What is that pool of yellow you just stepped over to get to the bar? That? It's just a puddle of urine. I literally peed myself because I'm going to be speaking in the Community Keynote at BlogHer.
I'm not allowed to tell you what I submitted, but I'll give you a hint. It has to do with infertility, my wonky ovaries, or my clot-happy blood. Or maybe all three.
The urine is both from excitement (my cousins had a dog that you couldn't pet when you first entered the house because if you did, it would go crazy with excitement and pee on the carpet. I'm sort of like that dog) and nervousness. I am not the best public speaker. I have a tendency, like that dog, to pee on the carpet. I mean...get anxious in front of large crowds.
So if you're coming to BlogHer, you'll know why I'm wearing water-resistant dark slacks on Friday.
Actually, are you coming to BlogHer? I know Briar will be there because she is leading a panel. And I think Aurelia will be there and Alexa. Who else? Who am I missing? Can we all make a list of ALI bloggers so we know who will be there and make some sort of plan to meet up for lunch on the first day? If you will be there, leave a note in the comment section (whether you are a blog writer or a blog reader) or send me an email and I'll put a plan in place so we can all meet up (please include your blog url if you write one so I can link to it in the list). We were somewhat successful last summer and had a great dinner/dessert one night. This time, we'll plan it earlier and close to the hotel so a lot of people can plan to come.
Wait, back to the bar. Please make sure you sidestep the urine and let me know what you'll have.
As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I'll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person's blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.
I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.
So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don't have a blog--gasp!--you can always leave an email address if you're looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you're a regular at the bar, I'll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I'm glad you found this virtual bar.
For those who have no clue what I'm talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.
So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.