The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Friday Blog Roundup

I think I found So Close somewhere around July 22, 2006. This was the first post I read. Which, of course, made me wildly scroll back through her archives, reading her whole story. Who was this crazy woman who could make me laugh and cry and nod and yelp all in one blog entry? Her book came out around the same time and I was so frustrated that it was not sold initially in the US. Hopefully, Tertia will not unearth the long stream of emails of me saying, "what about now? Or now? Is it out now? Or now?"'s out now.

Yes, Americans and Canadians had to wait a long time, but in honour of the book coming to America, I am throwing Tertia a book shower. A book shower is half online book tour, half book and author celebration. Anyone can participate, in fact, everyone should participate. Even if you read her book two years ago and have already written about it, please participate. I promise the format will make it a whole new post.

Now I need to convince you why you should join along: (1) Tertia is one of the pillars of the ALI community and one of the friendliest and warmest people to boot. (2) While she will most certainly make you cry--9 IVF cycles and death will do that--she will also make you laugh. (3) Lastly, one of the sentences on the book's description rings so incredibly true: "If you are struggling with infertility, have triumphed over infertility or have felt empathy with someone who is going through this experience, you will find a friend in Tertia."

I hope you will support one of our own by celebrating her accomplishment in writing this book as well as honour the life of her sons, Ben (who lived for ten days after being delivered at 25 weeks) and Luke (who was born still), who are written about in the book. If you'd like to join along on the book tour, here's how it works:
  • Sign up by clicking here and filling out the information needed to get on the list before March 20.
  • Read the book--as in, don't wait to order it, go get it immediately and start reading. In the US, it is available through Amazon and Barnes and Noble (but not brick and mortar stores).
  • On April 16th, I will send you a list of ten questions based on the book. You will choose one to answer in a blog post that goes up April 20th.
  • On April 20th, I will post the master list and people will be able to jump from blog to blog, reading wonderful things about Tertia's book and leaving smooches and chardonnay.
It's as easy as that. It will be like a giant, online party. In addition, I have two copies of the book to giveaway. The form has a space where you can indicate whether or not you want your name put in the drawing (I can, unfortunately, only mail the book in the US). If you already have a copy of the book, please hold off so someone else can get a chance. The only catch is that the two winners of the two books cannot drop out of the book tour once the books are sent to them. The drawing will be done on February 24th, so the giveaway closes February 23rd at 11 p.m. EST. Just to be clear--you can keep signing up to participate in the tour/shower after that, but you can't win the books.

So sign up--it is a wonderful way to celebrate our community, celebrate a writer, honour a life, and meet other bloggers online. Please spread word about the book tour on your blog, via Twitter, or Facebook. We may not be able to bring Tertia to America for a face-to-face book tour, but we can certainly pretend she is here, calling us whore and blowing kisses.


I loved the what if game so much last week that I think we should do this every Friday. So here is my what if. Add your own in the comment section below and answer mine as well as the others you find there.

The Weekly What If: What if, in order to keep all of the photographs you've ever taken, you needed to eat three live crickets? As in, they would be jumping around in your mouth before they went down. Eating live crickets or keeping your photographs?


I need to share my new favourite word with you. Last weekend, we pulled off in Urbana, Maryland so I could have my "finished the coffee in the house but can't quite make it to Shepherdstown" pee. As I got back in the car, Josh leaned over and muttered, "I am totally going to fingerboard you."

I stared at him for a moment and said, "I don't know what that means."

He pointed to the sign outside the car that read Fingerboard Street. "It's the name of the street, but I thought it sounded like a good term. What does it mean to you? You sort of startled when I said it."

"I guess I pictured it somewhere between torture and pleasure?"

"I'm going to say that from now on and see how people react. You can use it in so many different ways. 'I was going over the budget and couldn't tell if looked okay but then I realized the whole thing was a fingerboard.' Or, 'You knew the whole relationship was messed up from the start when he fingerboarded her on the first date.' Or, 'You have to be careful or this whole thing could turn into a fingerboard."

It is so catchy that I told Jendeis and Lindsay about it at coffee and Jendeis and I have been having a lot of fun using it in new and exciting ways (Lindsay, I have noticed, ignores the parts of the email that mentions fingerboarding, choosing to only discuss the rest of the message. She is obviously much more mature than the rest of us). Last night, I called Bean at the hospital and tried to convince her that it would be a good idea to work the term into all casual conversation. She will have a lot of people visiting her on hospital bedrest--it could spice things up.

I guess you could say that's my goal for the week: to use fingerboarding in a wide variety of ways in every single conversation. I challenge you to not only use it, but propose a working definition for it. I have been currently thinking of the term as akin to "goat rodeo" but I could be convinced otherwise.


Just a reminder: the IComLeavWe list closes tomorrow and commenting begins.


And now, the blogs...

You're Still Young has a post about why she is quiet. It is a brief, honest post, explaining how words are failing to be helpful--both words that are coming out of her own mind as well as reading the words of anyone else. It is about stepping back and caring for her heart. And it is a bittersweet read.

An Unwanted Path
has a post asking if a response to her pregnancy announcement was insensitive or ignorant. Her friend writes, "I told u it would happen," which kicks off an explanation of why promises about the future are more hurtful than helpful. Simply put, in a world without promises, where we all know what could crop up on the road to parenthood, sweeping the possibilities under the rug does not make them less true--it only makes the listener more lonely.

Do Without Doing begins her post with a wish many of us have thought from time to time: "I wish I did not have to deal with reality. I do not have anything specific to complain about, really. Just a general case of the blahs, and wanting a vacation really badly. I wish I could take a day just for me." It is a wistful post about having nothing specifically wrong, and yet still not feeling right. But in its simplicity, it jumped out at me and made me read it several times through.

Lastly, I could not stop looking at the picture of the final day of the four generations living under one roof on Creating Motherhood. I could not stop crying--not only because I was so sad for Cali and her family, but also, because whenever I read her blog, I think about my own four generations of women and how incredibly special that is to have in the same room. And how wonderful it is for Cali to have that moment captured for eternity.

The roundup to the Roundup: Join along in reading So Close, answer the weekly what if, use my new favourite term as much as possible today, and lots of great blogs to read. Hopefully this whole post wasn't a total fingerboard. Catch everyone here on Saturday where you can see pictures from the roadtrip that brought you this new and exciting term.


Tash said...


areyoukiddingme said...

It's so completely disgusting to me, but I'd have to go with the crickets. But I'd squish 'em as I put 'em in my mouth!

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

Definitely crickets! Maybe with Hershey's chocolate syrup? :)

loribeth said...

My photos are precious to me, so yes, I would probably (reluctantly) go for the crickets. But with a big glass of water to wash them down!!

Lisa said...

I would definitely eat the crickets. I lost my camera recently and I am sick that I have lost about two months of pictures of the twins that I can never ever get back again.

niobe said...

Mmmm...... crickets. Crunchy on the outside, with a soft, chewy core. I'm not sure I could stop at just three though.

Wait. Were you asking something about photographs?

Heidi said...

I thousand million crickets before someone could take my pictures. There is no thought for me.

Meg said...

Gasp! Not the pictures!
I would eat Jiminy Cricket and his cute little top hat. I'll feel really bad because he'll try to talk me out of it but no way can I let my pictures go.

Guera! said...

As much as I cherish photographs they could be lost in a fire, tornado, home robbery, flood or in a move to another house but can never be removed from my memory. I can't eat live bugs. I would make this work in my head by "giving" all my photographs away to someone who could keep them for me and then I have nothing to lose.

LJ said...

You know what, smartypants? Just for that, you are so gonna get fingerboarded by your least favorite B&S character. :)

Anonymous said...

Bring on the crickets. I've always meant to try one of those exotic bug treats (like chocolate scorpions), so this would be a great opportunity to try something new AND get to keep one of my most prized possessions.

chickenpig said...

Well, jam my fingerboard! Tertia's book came to the US!

What if you don't blog, but just hang around the edges of the blogosphere trying to look cool? How can I participate?

And crickets...definitely crickets.

Jill said...

As much as I love my pictures, I could never in a million years eat live bugs. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking about it.

Vee said...

Without a doubt....Crickets !

Cassandra said...

Fingerboard also sounds like pleasure + torture to me. Or perhaps a musical instrument.

Crickets, all the way.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the shout got me some traffic and made me feel a little less lonely.
looks like i missed the lushary...i woulda drowned my sorrows in some red wine and sat back and grooved to the buzz of my sisters hanging out...
next time...
shabbat shalom

nycphoenix said...

crickets absolutely

Mijke said...

Crickets, definately. With a side of maggotsquash and some catterpillarjuice... NOBODY touches those pictures!!!

Queenie. . . said...

I saw the reference to "fingerboarding" in another post withint the last couple of days, and wondered what the hell you were talking about. I was guessing a new game that involved fingersurfing.

I wouldn't like it, but I'd eat the crickets.

Cara said...

How could you even ask? CRICKETS!

Mo and Will said...

Here from ICLW. I would definitely eat the crickets. Not sure how, but I would. A few minutes of horror for a lifetime of memories? For me the choice is clear.


Liv said...

Crickets. Especially if I get an extra side of fingerboarding to go along with it though.

My geneologist self would sacrafice every ounce of yuck factor to keep my thousands of photos even some that go back all the to the 1800's safe.


JamieD said...

I have always been a lover of photographs. I would eat a hundred crickets if I had to. It may take a while, though.

Smack my fingerboard and call me Sally!

mary said...

Imagine my surprise when I opened up the Scholastic Book Order Form today and saw that you could order an actual "fingerboard!" It is like a mini skatebard that the kids can assemble and "ride" with their fingers. Want me to get you one Mel?

Bea said...

Crickets. Again. I love my pics.

But I was going to say something else. Oh yes! I've read So Close, so can you please add me to the book tour list!


Bea said...

Ok, I just realised I didn't get a couple of posts through bloglines. Anyway - I managed to add myself using your cool form so I don't have to bother you to do it! Yay! How cool are those forms?