The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Friday Blog Roundup

The end of a somewhat hellacious, vomit-covered week. I should have heeded the warning of the Magic 8 Ball and called in reinforcements before the vomit started flowing. I should also mention that the twins only get sick when Josh is out of town. Which means that I should have known that all hell would break loose when I saw a note on the calendar about a trip.

I am always happy to lend out the Magic 8 Ball and therefore, I asked your questions, and here are your answers:
  • Nancy: Am I going to make it to transfer? Ask Again Later (which is rather appropriate considering all of the ups and downs, nu?)
  • Jen: Will we make our goal for Cali? Most Likely.
  • Lori: Will I ever get the freaking post done, the one I've been working on for eons? Outlook Not So Good (hmmm...but is it complete?)
  • Kim: Wants to know if she will ever get more hours in her day. You May Rely on It (hmmm...)
  • Susy: Will I be able to continue with my first IVF? Signs Point to Yes.
  • Christina: Will all my IF friends will get knocked up this year? Signs Point to No.
  • Kymberli: Are we going to be able to move in 4 years or under as planned? Cannot Predict Now.
So there you have it.

There are currently a little under 20 members of U.T.E.R.U.S. We started the listserv not only to brainstorm how to get the final $800 to Cali, but how to do this efficiently over and over again to help future bloggers. If you wish to join the U.T.E.R.U.S. listserv, click on the link and when you fill out the request-to-join, make sure you list your blog name/url if you have one. Really, anyone who wishes to get involved and make a difference should add themselves to the listserv because we'll be conducting most of our brainstorming off-blog.

What would you do: you go to make a purchase at a major chain store and you bring along a gift certificate that will cover a large portion of the cost. The worker who is checking you out messes up the transaction and removes the money from the gift card and is unable to reimburse it in order to start over the transaction. After a half hour of trying to fix the problem, she finally calls over a manager. The manager works for another fifteen minutes and cannot fix the problem either. He keeps the gift card after confirming via computer that the money had been removed from the card 45 minutes earlier by the clerk and tells you to take home the purchase without giving any more payment. He promises he will call the next day to straighten out the problem and charge your credit card with the remaining balance (around $60). He has the credit card number via all the botched transaction attempts. He doesn't call. He doesn't charge the credit card. It is a week later.

What would you do? This question obviously pulls in every thought you've ever had about getting the incorrect change back in your favour or not being charged for an item when you're checking out at a major chain store.

This is the last weekend to donate to our team for March of Dimes. We're doing the walk on Sunday. We made t-shirts to honour Lennox and Zoe for the walk.

I tried to take a picture of myself wearing the shirt and gave up. It is very difficult to take a picture of yourself if you are trying to show what is on the t-shirt. My arm kept covering up part of the shirt and then trying to hold the camera at a strange angle that got the shirt made me look like I was entirely comprised of boob. The irony, of course, is that Allison is privy to my long-standing quest to find the perfect bra.

Pictures and thank yous and stories from the walk coming soon.

A small taste of what I read this week. I tend to be drawn to two types of blogs. Those that contain brilliant writing--well-crafted; thought-provoking: the posts are either small or infrequent, almost like the literary equivalent to sushi. Or I am drawn to blogs that are extremely raw, down-to-earth, bare emotions. The meat-and-potatoes. The everyday life. I'm just thankful that I have such a great menu to order from each week.

Baby, Borneo or Bust...
has a post about being terrified of becoming a parent. She writes: "Last night was one of those nights when I awoke in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, only to then be inexplicably seized by the fear that perhaps I am a fool to want to do this. Perhaps I would be messing up a perfectly good life by having a child. Perhaps I will be a terrible mother. Perhaps it won't at all be what I thought. Perhaps I would be happier without children. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. . ." She mentions the idea of being trapped by choices and it's a valid question--how many times in life have you hit a no-going-back point and whispered, "what have I done?" You know rationally that you've pushed through, but in the moment, it's terrifying. I thought it was a brave post to write.

When One's Only Hope Fails has a post titled "What Now?" She begins, "I've spent most of the last 24 hours struggling to figure out what to do next. Over the last year, a large pile of books on different topics has gradually accumulated on the floor near my side of the bed; books about surrogacy, adoption, egg donors, and remaining childless. On top of them all is a "chick lit" book to conceal them from DH (so he doesn't realize the level of insanity his wife has reached)." This is an excellent example of that raw emotions I just wrote about. She runs through the different options, explaining the drawbacks and benefits to all of them and finally comes to the same resting place where she began; and yet, at the same time, in a completely different spot.

Losing the Baby Wait
has a post saying goodbye to a series of dreams as she starts down the road to adoption. It is an extremely moving post: "I feel like it is time I let some dreams go to make room for new moments... so with you as my witnesses I am going to say goodbye to a few dreams that I have had for myself. Although we never know what the future holds... for now I am letting these things go so they can be replaced by new dreams that perhaps I have never even thought of." I imagine it was hard to write; cathartic to write.

Lastly, Bullet Proof Eggs has a post that seems to span all three ideas presented in the blogs above and yet puts her own unique twist on the situation. They have decided to step back from trying-to-conceive because it is financially out of their capabilities, but she writes, "I decided to trip a walk onto the blogs I stalked previously, on a pretty much daily basis. It was like coming into a little family reunion. I know those feelings, that sadness, that longing. I know it all, all too well, and I may also know now and didn't know before that I am going to have to start thinking in terms of a childless existence instead of believing that faith in this would handle everything for me. I had faith that it would happen. Now I have to hold onto the faith that it might not happen and that I am able to handle it." That idea--a family reunion--and just the aching beauty of the post as a whole made me read it several times through and return to it throughout the week.

The Roundup to the Roundup: Magic 8 Ball tells it like it is, join U.T.E.R.U.S., and it's the last chance to donate to the March of Dimes. And answer my what if question of the week. Would you call the store? Let it slide? Let it eat away at you for the next four months?


Jen said...

I had a similar situation at a store once. We ran our credit card through to pay for the groceries, but the clerk couldn't get the receipt to print for us to sign it. We waited and waited. The manager came over to see what the problem was. When he found out that we were only waiting to sign the receipt, he said just go. If the charge went through, fine. And if it didn't, we could consider it on the store since we were frequent customers. (It didn't go through, we got free groceries.)

I say it is their problem to fix and you've already put enough of your time and energy into it.

Lori said...

Well, M8B, I DID finish my post. So maybe you're off your game just a bit, hmmm?

I would definitely contact the store and not stop until it was resolved. In fact, by now I'd be so ticked at the incompetence/cavalierity (?) with YOUR money that I'd also insist they reimburse me for the hour-plus that I spent on their problem.

Want me to go to bat for you? I'mr really good at this. Ask M8B.

Kathy V said...

Well the reality of the situation is that if it were me, by the time I figured the store forgot about it, I would end up with a $60 charge on my credit card. I would then be trying to call and figure out what I spent $60 dollars on especially if I hadn't been in that store recently. they should have called you back already and I believe they need your permission to charge your credit card if you are not there to sign or validate. The bad side though is if you call them back to inquire about it, even if they had forgotton before, suddenly they will remember you still owe them.

katedaphne said...

I would not bother to call the store back. You did what you could, and this is their mistake. It may just be easier for them to write this off as a bad job than than to fix it.

Did you ask the Magic 8 Ball what it recommends?

JuliaS said...

Mel - here is my secret for taking my own pictures. (Which I hate so much I rarely do, but if it needs to be done . . .)

Anyway - I have a large mirror in my bathroom and a large display on my digital camera. I set the camera up on the sink on top of a pile of books to get it the right height. I can see the image in the display reflected in the mirror and can adjust the books as needed. Set the timer, stand in front and there you go - no more single boob shots or up the nose shots . . .

SarahSews said...

Mel, you and your blog roundups had me crying too much this week. I may just pout in the corner.

As for the store, I would give myself a pass. If you gave it that much effort and they couldn't resolve their own error, it isn't your fault or problem. You tried to pay, their system wouldn't let you and they told you to leave. Done.

As for the pictures, I have a small thing called a gorilla pod. It's magic. Its like a tripod but tiny and bendable. I attach it to something, set my cameras timer and let it do all the work.

SarahSews said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julia said...

I say your time and aggravation was worth the $60. If they told you to go like 5 mins after they screwed up, I would feel bad about the money. But since they wasted so much of your time and caused you so much inconvenience, I do not feel bad at all. But if you want to be crystal clear about it, you can call the store, explain it to them, and then tell them that you believe your time and all is definitely worth the $60, and that you expect there won't be a charge.

The t-shirt looks very nice. Have fun at the walk!

A.M.S. said...

Love the shirts! Much bittersweet happiness in the Our Own Creation universe over the phenomenal success of Team On The Road.

Can't help you on the store issue. Knowing me, I'd probably still be there trying to get it all straightened out or up to my elbows writing letters to their corporate office. I'd say, you did your best, and they got at least some money out of it. It isn't your fault, you made an honest attempt to ensure that the situation was resolved. I'd also keep a close eye on the credit card statements for a bit just to make sure nothing hinky happens there, but I'm paranoid like that.

dayzofrain said...

I would give the store a call at least one more time. That way its three tries. If they say they won't charge it or something along those lines ... then view it as a blessing-- cause its not like you didn't try to pay the people.

Or you could do something great with the difference in the money - since technically you've spent it already.

Jess said...

I would call. Or go back in. It would bother me too much. I've done that type of thing at Walmart more than once.

I know. I'm totally anal. I can't help it.

Michell said...

I think I would let the store thing go too. It's not like they got nothing (they got your gift card balance) and an hour plus of your time. That said if the charge ever does show up I probably wouldn't say anything about that either cause I did get the item. I did have something similar happen recently. I purchased something at a store in Houston when I was there on vacation and the money still hasn't been charged to my account and it's been almost 2 months.

nancy said...

lol. The Magic 8 ball telling me even it doesn't know. That's feaking hilarious.

Queenie. . . said...

I've been consulting the magic 8 ball for life decisions lately, too. And been hoping it's right.

I would call the store, if only so you can stop thinking about whether you should call the store. If you're putting this much thought into it, you should do it.

And thanks for the thoughts on my post. After I put it up, I thought at least a half dozen times about taking it down, because it makes me feel like a bad person that I even have those thoughts to begin with.

ms.bri said...

Free stuff. I would consider it a done deal and not worry about it for one second longer.

I have a few things to donate to auction. Is it still happening? I will have to go back and find the directions and see if I can get my items on.