Since bitch is the new black and black is the clothing colour of universal appropriateness then is using bitch as a term of endearment just as timeless and universal as a cocktail dress?
I once had to sit through a lecture at the middle school where I taught about how it wasn't amusing or endearing to call each other bitch or whore (by "each other," I mean the students. The teachers were not calling each other whores. Though wouldn't that have made for an interesting school day?).
Except that it is amusing and endearing. I get great glee when Flicka calls me Snatch in an email. I wish everyone would call me Snatch (for $75 and a trip to the Social Security office, I could formally make that my name). And though it may make my mother wince to know this (my mother has such a good, ladylike mouth. Her daughters, alas, do not), I call people I like by obscenities ranging from the standard bitch and some saucier fare that probably shouldn't be documented on a blog to the more mild dirty old curtain twitcher.
Doesn't that sound dirty?
Do you know we need more of? We need more obscenity-like words or phrases to use as a term of endearment. Please suggest some if you have them.
I like being called obscenities lovingly. It creates a strange, reverse coding. We're taught not to say these words around people we don't know well, but then we use them precisely to create an intimacy that we are comfortable enough with each other to tease. I'm, of course, talking about saying them in a loving way, like "hey, Bitch, when are you going to haul open the doors of the Lushary because I need a drink" and not, "Melissa, you are a complete bitch."
Sometimes, after I hit send on an email where I have called someone bitch, I have a moment of regret wondering if they will see this as the loving term that it is. And so I ask, if you are called bitch lovingly, is it classic--the new black--like being handed a blue, Tiffanys box or is it more like being hit in the head with the blunt end of an empty Mike's Hard Lemonade bottle? Are you a fan of the Lovingly-Spoken Obscenity (LSOs) or are you offended to the core when I call you whore, my sweets?