Did you really think I'd ever produce a brief Roundup? Here are the blogs:

Maria at Love Will Tear Us Apart had an emotional, angry, scary, raw post. It is a verbalization of that surge of anger that spills out with the negative, that desire to slam the phone into the wall, the frustration that you have worked and worked and worked...for nothing. She writes: "All I ever wanted was to be a mom...It's what I always wanted to be. I guess I never factored into the job, all the extra work I would have to do in order to just get hired." I guess perhaps a better analogy for someone who doesn't understand this frustration is imagine if everyone was trying for the same job. Other people simply went to college and were hired. But after going to college, you learned that you (and no one else) needed to strip for the boss. You needed to humiliate yourself and expose yourself. You needed to pay tens of thousands of dollars simply to be considered. And then...after all of that...you may or you may not get the position. While everyone else is standing around the office water cooler staring at you and saying things like, "I don't know what it's so hard for you. I just sent in my resume and they took me."

A at Waiting in Line had a post this week called "You Don't Say" about the lack of support she has been receiving from a long-time friend. Their differences have never been a dividing factor, but as of late, the promises that positive energy and a bit of relaxing will bring about a baby are more than A can swallow. She writes: "Why is it that the almost 3 years that Mr. W and I were screwing like rabbits, not using birth control of any sort, and not 'wanting' a baby don't count? Neither my sister or B actually acknowledge that time. They still want to say, 'relax and it will happen' as if those years weren't relaxing." When relaxing doesn't work, the advice is never, "shit...well...have you tried..." it is only, "relax some more." Perhaps relaxation needs to come with an expiration date so people can stop suggesting it after a certain point. Or not at all.

I know this isn't funny; it's actually a quite frustrating and sad situation, but literally, clicking back to get the url, I laughed all over again at the conversation between Samantha and her husband at Southern Infertility. The Southeast is experiencing a drought and the water company has sent out suggestions on ways to conserve water. Sam writes: "Our water/sewer authority even sent out an email with the advice, 'if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down.' So I thought, well, what if it's red?" And what do you do if your body is out-of-whack and you're bleeding for weeks on end? Seriously, has the water/sewer authority considered this situation as they mused on the bodily fluids that usually enter the toilet? I'm sorry, sweetie--the transcript from the conversation with your husband still makes me snort my drink.

Leah at Tales From My Dusty Ovaries had a post this week that echoed the thoughts of many a pregnant woman after infertility. She said it perfectly: that frustration when you see others rejoicing in your pregnancy at a level that you can't reach because you're too scared. She describes her FIL's excitement, her family's confidence. She writes: "The whole family has supported us through all of our ups and downs to reach this miracle pregnancy and we are lucky for that. Their enthusiasm is genuine, and it takes my breath away. But it still scares me to death. And it makes me sad. Why can't I be as happy as them? Why must I caveat all baby-related statements with 'assuming all goes well' or 'God willing'? These are rhetorical questions, we all know the deep layers of pain within that keep me from enjoying such blissful, carefree, innocent enthusiasm. We still haven't told Megan about the baby because I can't face the prospect of having to un-explain it." It is hard to let yourself freely enjoy something that you fear could be taken away. But I hope she finds that space soon--after the Christmas Eve appointment--and only has smooth sailing from here on out.

So...just to close with a Roundup for the roundup: listen to good music (and also here). Go nudge your fellow IF/pg loss/adoption bloggers for the Creme de la Creme. Vote on how you feel about the Barren Bitches Book Brigade. And have a wonderful weekend.

*In clicking around on their site, I saw this note: "SATU, our first full-length CD is being sold online at earthville.com. You can listen to & download free mp3 clips of all of the tracks at the site. There's also a "pick your price" sliding-scale as well as an option to plant a tree for $2 for a carbon-zero transaction. (One thing I'll say for them: Earthville is cool.)" I love that idea of trading a tree for music. And the CD has "Spiral Flower" on it. I can start planning out my treatment soundtrack just in case I can't book the brass band for next week.