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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Feel That Tequila Burn

Though I've had the occasional margarita since my college days, the word tequila usually makes me quite queasy (even Tequila Mockingbird's blog title makes me throw up a little in my mouth--just the title, just the title) ever since an evening during my first week of college that culminated with high kicks on the sink in our co-ed bathroom and waking up in an impromptu (read: passed out) slumber party attended by a large portion of my dorm wing. Somewhat-first hangovers are a bitch.

But it's a stupidity rite of passage. It doesn't matter how self-destructive drinking several times your weight in tequila shots can appear to the rational mind. The rational mind says screw it in the face of adjusting to college life. I think most of us probably have a story like that when it comes to college--the poorly thought-out tequila bender that needed to happen but leaves us with a distaste for the drink for the rest of our life.

Pee sticks are my new tequila.

I went on a pee stick bender the first time I tried to conceive. Tested every day and even insisted that my full-flow period was simply late implantation bleeding. I obviously became smarter in the realm of partaking in pee stick sports, but they still hold the same queasiness when I see that box under the sink. Oh? Did I mention that I keep a box of FRED--not even the cheap internet sticks, but a box of the good stuff--next to my pantiliners under the sink? Like tequila in a margarita, I still pee on them from time to time. But the act always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And the stick is always starkly white.

So, this month's bar special is margaritas festooned with a pee stick instead of an umbrella. You name the flavour, but you do need to partake in the tequila regardless of the queasiness factor. It's a rite of passage. And it's imaginary. And it's free. Imaginary, free, peer-pressured drinks should be consumed with gusto.

As always, it has been a little under a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I'll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. In fact, after you've caught us up on your own situation this month, make sure you add in your own freshman year alcohol-related tale. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person's blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don't have a blog--gasp!--you can always leave an email address if you're looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you're a regular at the bar, I'll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I'm glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking.

62 comments:

Samantha said...

Wow, first person at the bar! I'll definitely take some tequila shots, although I hope it's high quality stuff, not that cheap stuff I had a bad experience with in high school :) I am suffering from the same problem as you with those pee sticks. My official beta at 14d5dt is tomorrow, but my practically daily pee stick (including this morning's test) show zero, nothing, nada. It ain't over until the beta, but I don't seem much hope left in this cycle. And my SIL just called yesterday to announce her unplanned pregnancy.

calliope said...

Hi (pulls up barstool). I'll have a shot of tequila with a giant lime please.

I'm feeling a bit stressed about my shared IVF - there are so many things that I need to have done or sign or schedule and it is becoming overwhelming. I am so jealous of other women that don't have to worry about all the things that are on my plate.

When I was a freshman I had never been truly drunk before. Being the budding control freak that I am I was quite worried about being drunk for the first time around other people as I did not know what kind of drunk I would be. One weekend I realized that all of my roommates were out of town. So I went down to the corner deli and purchased 2 six packs of Zima. I then went back up to my dorm room and pulled out my journal and wrote my way through 4 of them before I passed out. To this day I have never let myself drink more than 3 drinks at a time as I never really figured out what happens after 4.

Shelli said...

Wow, I am actually early rather than late to bar. I'll have a mojito please.

I am feeling very upset about the state of my (in)fertiltiy. I am 8 weeks out from my 4th miscarriage and I STILL have not been blessed with the start of a new cycle.

In fact, I just had an hCG check on Friday, and it's STILL 23. So basically, I have had hCG in my system since MAY!

How can I start my next injectibles/IUI cycle when I can't get past this misacarriage?? arrrgghhh....

Dreamer4agift said...

*pulling up a barstool next to calliope and placing head in hands* Hi ladies! Margaritas are my fav...I'll take a watermelon frozen please, with some salt on the rim.

Well, I'm waiting and waiting for af to start. I have a script for Prometrium, but I'm holdin' off a few more days. I have one last cycle and then it's on to the RE for a more aggressive tx. I don't really want to have to go that route, but I'm trying so hard not to think about it. I have some great friends as supports, but there's been a few days here lately where my fears and disappointments are haunting me. I'm just tired and ready for a positive change. I'm stressed over ttc, work, finances, life in general and could just use a little positiveness, ya know?

My first few drunken memories are full of beyond-stupid moments where I woke up wondering "what the hell did I do?" Of course, there's also the remembrance of my pride that I could drink any guy under the table on any given weekend. It was a great feeling. Now, just a few and while I won't be intoxicated, I won't feel like proving myself.

BethH6703 said...

Hey Mel, Can you pour me a margarita big enough for me to bathe in? Not a tequila fan, but sure could use some virtual drunken happiness...

First, to Samantha, you're in my thoughts right now. I hope you get good news tomorrow, and I hope you can find a way to deal with the surprise announcement. Those are the worst. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Calliope, good luck with the IVF. I don't know anything about the process or procedure, and so have no assvice to offer. Just hopes that you find your way thru the stress to a nice happy ending.

My bitching for this round... a surprise pregnant close friend (who happens to be clueless, about the least maternal woman I've ever known, and living with a complete loser of a boyfriend whose so unprepared to be a father I can't wrap my mind around it), another failed cycle that really got my hopes up, and being totally unsure if the Met is doing anything for me.

And my 1st drunk story... eww eww eww... sparing the gory details, let's just say it involved a 40oz bottle of St Ides, a fifth of some really cheap fruit punch schnapps, passing out in a really unfortunate and icky place, and a MUCH MUCH needed shower. Thus the reason I can't stand the smell of beer. Did I mention I was 15? (blush)

Thanks Mel for opening up again. The vent felt good!

Tina said...

I am not a tequila person, but I will take a Rum and Coke today - heavy on the rum.

TTC is on hold - for a while or indefinitely, we are not sure... Unless we listen to the psychics and hope they are right. I guess we will re-visit this in the new year - once things for my DS are settled. Until then, I am living by watching the stories of the rest of you ladies...

We are just dealing with incompetence in the school system right now - who knew trying to get an eval for already diagnosed PDD-NOS would be this hard!?!? I am kicking some major butt these days on behalf of my DS - the butt kicking is something I am just not used to doing...even for myself. I am glad, in a way, I am being forced to be such a bitch because it is just not my nature.

littleangelkisses said...

I'll take a shot of something! I have had my egg retrieval and my half dosen eggs are now cozy in the freezer until November when we'll thaw, fertilize and transfer back.

How about something tropical? I got the word right after retrieval that we beat the Miami study and I'm officially the first woman in the country to have her eggs frozen in this media for the study!!

Mary said...

Midori Margarita please, frozen. It's still supposed to be almost 100 here today, so cool sounds good.
Ok, since we last met, we picked an egg donor, she had her baseline u/s and starts stims on Saturday. We are scheduled for transfer the end of the first week in October.
I am TERRIFIED!!!! I have lost 5 pregnancies (to me they were babies) so far and unfortunately I seem to be going into this cycle more focused on what we can lose instead of what we might gain.
Tequila stories (or "to kill ya" as we used to call it.) First experience was Spring Break, a LONG train ride through Mexico to Mazatlan, no shot glass and a bunch of guys who wanted to "teach" me how to do shots. Oh to be young and dumb again!!!!! Cheers!

Grad3 said...

I am trying to take things one day at a time right now, not looking too far ahead- so I am going to sit and listen (hope you all don't mind!)

Not sure what drink I want... surprise me please and could you make it something warm and comforting? It would be great with this cool weather we are finally getting here- Fall makes me smile...

Ladies, I can empathize with you all in different ways. What we face is scary and unfair. I know how much I miss the simple bliss and ignorance of pregnancy or the simplicity in which normal people try to achieve it. (resigned sigh)

Here's to better days.

Kristen said...

Mmmm, I'll take a mango margarita, please. Yummy! I'm still hanging onto summer even though it is passing me by before my eyes!

I have a few hangover stories but I'll try to make them quick (yeah right!). My freshman year of college, I dated this guy, Grant. He was one of those skater boy types and really sexy in a bad boy way - but not too bad. I wanted to impress him so badly. We went to this huge party and I hadn't really eaten much all day. I had a few double shots of tequila - you know, in the BIG shot glass. Before you know it, I'm running outside to dry heave on the sidewalk. So much for impressing him. We broke up about a month later.

Another one was while I was dating DH. We went out with one of his childhood friends and I wound up drinking 2 amaretto sours and 3 (maybe 4) chocolate martinis. Word to the wise- chocolate martini does not taste nearly as good coming back up. It was the first time I yacked from drinking. To this day, I can't bring myself to drink one without cringing.

So, what's going on with me? Nada. Anovulatory so it seems. Guess I should call the RE for some Provera. But I'm in no hurry. I also got dx with UTI #1,587 so I'm on antis for that. They call it "honeymoon cystitis" but it's no honeymoon.

Fertilize Me said...

(sits down at the bar) Yumm Tequila., since I am technically in my 2ww from my first IUI w/ injectibles, (bravelle), I better not partake in the beverage but I will have to partake in the dreaded/torturous pee sticks.. But I love a good party, so I figured I’d stick around. I feel the exact same way about those awful sticks, except I never have any in my house. I seriously hate them. I refer to myself as having POASaphobia. I havent’ seen a + or 2 lines on those sticks in yrs, therefore they are just a constant reminder of my failed cycles. ( the 2 I have seen ended very abruptly) My Dr. will not do a beta unless I get a + or 2 lines therefore I have to put on my big girl panties and actually pee on one soon. I think I will wait until Monday. Just in case, for once, I actually see 2 lines or a +, I can call the Dr. and get a beta that morning. I have been trying to distract my brain in the 2ww, but it isn’t fooled. Good luck to those who are also in the 2ww.

Fertilize Me said...

Oh i forgot that my first tequila introduction was with me and my family in key west on a boat. Boating at night, drunk and had to pee, stepped out of the boat onto a nurse shark (thank gawd they have no teeth) and ended up with a gummed bite mark on my ankle. I try to stay away from the tequila, it usually makes me do too many stupid things that sound like great tideas

DD said...

Tequila: when you really want to feel the burn...

We are on our last cycle for trying to conceive after 9 failed cycles of IUIs, dIUIs, IVFs, FETs resulting in 3 miscarriages.

Wow. It sucks to sum it up that way. This is a donor egg cycle and I still have not received the calendar from the clinic and I'm getting frustrated and nervous and starting to develop a "I just don't give a shit, anymore" attituide.

Now where's my lime?

Baby Steps to Baby Shoes said...

I learned my lesson about mixing tequila shots with chocolate martinis. Truly, not a good combination! Since then, I have had to pass on the tequila, unless it is in some froo-froo, fruity margarita. So, I will take one of those from the virtual bar.

I am having a difficult time setting aside the bbt. That was my one little form of control and now it is pointless, so it needs to be set aside. The little control freak inside of me is trying to tempt me to pick it up.

I also am trying to find a way to balance being positive and not getting my hopes up. Now that we are starting IUI, we actually have a chance (albeit a small one), but it's still something significant for a change, instead of the usual 1-2% that we would have of conceiving naturally.

Lori said...

I've never done tequila -- the smell makes me want to retch.

So it's a good thing the Lushary serves imaginary tequila. That way I can have a seat with you ladies. Can a girl get a mojito here, Bartendress?

I come with a sprinkling of baby dust for all who enter the Lushary.

No big news. Except I get to go on a business trip to Tahoe next week.

Meghan said...

I'm new to this bar but think I could become a regular here ;)

I'll have one on the rocks with lots of salt!

Waiting to start our first IUI in October after getting our 'unexplained' diagnosis mid August. I'm trying not to think about it while obsessing at the same time. It makes for one very confused brain!

My favorite tequila story was also my freshman year of college (seems to be a theme for a lot of us). After lots of drinking, I decided to try my first tequila shot. It was nasty so I chased it with the next closest beverage, which just happened to be a vodka shot (sounds a lot like that song). Needless to say, the next morning was ROUGH!

Thanks for the drink!!

Wordgirl said...

"Jameson's, splash of water" -- or that's what I used to say...now, not so much. I have two stories about drinking -- in one I'm 23 and have just found out that my partner of four years has left me for our skinny, j-crewing wearing, jeep driving, retreiver owning neighbor who'd just moved from Michigan to Colorado. What began as Cinco de Mayo and tequila on Pearl Street with a friend ended 1)stumbling over a chunk of concrete in the alley with some blond rugby playing music promoter and opening a gash above my irish chin 2)emergency room visit replete with restraints and a police man who, I blurrily recount, I was not very nice to 'does it make you feel like a big man to tie up a woman' (cringe, cringe, cringe 12 years later) 3)filled with joy when the nurse tells me that my boyfriend is in the waiting room I assume its the traitor when its rockpromoter who rides with me in the cab to my apartment above Stella's grocery while I sob inconsolably (but wait, it gets worse) 4) I walk, er stumble, the two miles along the Boulder Creek Path to our old apartment (keep in mind she lives in the first level of the fourplex -- we lived right above her) and my ex wakes from sleep from her bed, climbs the stairs to find me, blood stained white linen sleveless gap shirt with pretty placket that I loved, crying inconsolably over our cat, Colvin (but wait, it gets worse) 5.)and then he drives me home to my awful apartment with the bathroom down the hall and a stairwell that local homeless people loved to sleep in...and then I beg him to take me back. And he leaves.
6.)rockpromoter leaves a mixed tape for me in the entryway in a clorets tin with my ID. The tape, which I had until just a few years ago, was called "seven stitches".

Um. I'm a little embarrassed to tell the story about excessive amounts of whiskey in Montana lest you think I have a problem. Actually, looking back on that cheered me up -- my life now is SO much better :)


Let me just say that I have so much admiration for the strength of the people posting through these forums. It's humbling, and it helps me keep perspective, and it just helps me. I'm currently at the near end of the two week wait for my first IUI (second of clomid though). Today I have a consult for the big guns, or needles as the case may be. Next stop: Follistim &IUI.

And I'm scared. But unlike those years in Boulder where I woke up at 2am with people stumbling out of the Fox theater and would look out to the red neon sign and dread the morning where I'd wake up alone -- I know who I am now, and I've met a wonderful partner, and steady footing in the world. As Raymond Carver would say -- Everything else is gravy. But I really, really want some gravy.

serenity said...

I LOVE tequila. Despite a bad tequila experience in college, I'm still a huge fan. Hook me up with some virtual shots - with lime and salt please!

Funny, I had the most intense desire to POAS this morning just to see if it's still true... that I'm really pregnant. Some days it's nearly impossible to believe.

Still trying to manage the fear; it's hard to believe that after 2 and a half years, 3 fresh cycles, 3 frozen cycles, and 3 surgeries staying pregnant isn't a struggle for us too.

But I'm working on it.

decemberbaby said...

Frozen strawberry margarita, please. And a round of BFP for everyone.

The first time I got drunk, I almost flashed DH's friends. (he wasn't DH at the time, just boyfriend)

I'm at 24 weeks today. I'm in shock. Just like Serenity said, after a hard road getting here it's difficult to believe it when things go smoothly... but that's exactly how they're going.

Meg said...

Ugh I hate Tequila but since its the drink of the day being served up here at the Virtual Lushery keep 'em coming!!!!

I am right on the edge of IVF #7 and not very hopeful as I never in my life thought I would have to go past 3...

I am going to a psychic party on Sat night. Never been much of a believer but maybe she'll say the right thing to give me enough of a boost to be positive this cycle. Who the hell knows. Its all a crap shoot right....

candy said...

i don't drink so i'm not sure the proper etiquette here. but it's fake and free, so give me something that'll knock me out.

back story: we started TTC in fall 2002, and i stopped counting negative pee sticks when i got to 42 cycles of them in spring 2006. (i was smart enough not to count how many pee sticks per cycle!) i feel guilty even posting here, because we were lucky enough to have adoption sort of happen to us and did our 7th and last failed IUI in april 06 when our girls moved in.

but i'm not done dammit.

i'm on the edge of being ok and wanting to dive back into treatments til it works. i feel like i'll regret either choice.

i really just want my life back. me. my marriage the way it was. my spirits. all of it. all those years... i'm grateful that it ended with adopting our girls, i just wish the road there had been different. i used to laugh. all the time.

i'm at www.candysland.wordpress.com if you wanna crash and wake up with a hangover at my place.

Shelby said...

Mmmm, tequila! I absolutely love tequila. I'll have a Prickly Pear margarita please, on the rocks with salt. Thanks!

So far so good with me. I'm at 14+ weeks pregnant, and am feeling pretty good. Tired, and headachey, but I'll take every single yawn and ache gladly. I'm still in awe that IVF can work.

As far as drinking experience goes, my most memorable involves a dorm party, the last keg party known to happen in the complex I lived in. It involved lots of wine coolers and many, many green jello shots (poisonous- no one ever let me forget them). I was SO sick the next day.

nancy said...

drink - Don't care what it is. as long as it's strong, I'll take it.

history - 18 cycles and got #1, 1 more cycle and got #2. Onto cycle 12 right now. And yes, I'm lucky but please don't dismiss my personal pain. Just got home from hsg #3 and seems that although righty looks a little funky, she's a spillin'.

drunk story - I wish I could give you my "freshman in college" drunk story, but I was a punk rock girl back in the days of high school, so my drunks came with a fake id years before I made it to college.

One quick story of a night I spent drinking - probably mickey's big mouth (why we drink crap beer in teenage years is beyond me. I'm a guinness girl now) - I must've blacked out at some point because I woke up, face down in the grass, of an apartment complex. I was located just a few feet away from the sliding glass doors of the place I should have been in, but never made it to the patio. So spread eagled in the grass I was. The best part was what woke me. Landscapers. Yes, a whole troop of landscapers were mowing around me.

A.W.E.S.O.M.E, eh?

Rachel said...

I don't normally drink, and I'm currently expecting, but give me something stong since it is all virtual.

I came off zoloft last week and prednisone this week. That added with pregnancy horomones are making me crazy! The timing is horrible, the due date of my first baby is Sunday and I feel like I haven't stopped crying in 4 days. It in like my miscarriage was yesterday instead of 6 months ago.

I am hoping that what my husband and I have planned for this weekend will give us some closure and help me regain my sanity.

dmarie said...

Since I'm back to drinking, I'll join in and have a rum punch, please, b/c I wish I were on a beach somewhere.

KLTTX said...

I pretty much stopped drinking after college. I grew up in New Orleans so I had a lot of experience with drinking at a very young age. But I'll take one for the team and have a big frozen margarita.

I am also a POAS fanatic. The three times I actually got pg, I probably POAS 30 - 40 times to check to see if the line was still there (alas - on two of those occassions the line disappeared). Even though we are no longer TTC and are waiting for our adoption match, I still POAS occassionally. Its a hard habit to break. We've only been waiting for a match for about a month but it seems like forever.

SarahSews said...

Hmmm. I'll have a double margarita, extra limes please.

The cliff notes version of our story (which I perfected in the last few weeks) is this: we've been trying to get pg for almost three years. We did one full year of treatment (including 8 medicated cycles, with 7 IUIs) which resulted in one pathetic chemical pregnancy before stopping to regroup before IVF. We got insurance coverage for IVF in August and promptly (two weeks later) found out I was pregnant. Our first spontaneous pregnancy. Shortly thereafter we found out it was going to end in miscarriage. Almost three weeks later I am still pregnant and just really want this to be over. And wanting it to be over makes me feel terrible.

As for teenaged drinking, my favorite story just happens to include to kill ya. All my HS friends went off to college the fall after we graduated but I stayed home (turns out my family couldn't afford to send me). The following December, all my classmates came home for winter break and wanted to party. I joined them and one friend decided to impart some of her new found drinking knowledge on me, something she picked up at a frat party. So she gave me a shot of tequila. And then she shook my head. I promptly spit the entire shot of tequila in her face, causing her eyes to burn. As she cried, I turned and left the party. I never talked to her again.

It was years before I really started drinking. I waited until I turned 21 and moved all the way across the country to really get drunk and by then I was forced to depend on the kind souls at bars all over DC to put me in cabs and send me home.

JJ said...

Well I am just tickled pink--tequilla is my poison of choice when it comes to liquor-so I'll take a few shots with lime and salt on the side.

Murphy's Law has hit us in the past week-with just CRAP stuff happening, so Im ready for Murphy to leave. Maybe getting liquored up Ill get the courage to KICK him out...

Dianne/Flutter said...

Cadillac Margharitta please.

So, I'm 7DPI of our last cycle. And wow, I didn't realize how emotional I would be. The day of our last IUI, well, all I could do was cry. (I should of taken that day off, instead I went to work. Cried quietly at my desk.) Before the days of the IUIs, I was wondering if we should try IVF. Well, lets just say my poor DH can't take this anymore than I can. It about broke my heart.

As of today, I am slightly hopeful. Mostly because I've been painfully crampy. I never been this crampy at this stage (Before ovulating, yes. Even four days before AF. But never at 3-7 DPI.)

I'm contemplating asking my REs office if I had any cysts. They are so blaze about those, they often don't tell me. Err...another reason I am so done - the REs office.

So, if you believe in a higher being, please say a prayer. I could use it. Because if this fails, I don't know what we'll be doing next. And that is a tad scary.

Drinking stories - I have many. None with tequila. Rum, Vodka, Mixed Drinks. All in my Sophmore, Junior and Senior years. Maybe I was a late developer?

harderthanwethought said...

Hmmm.. usually just the thought of tequila shots makes me feel queasy (of course it was the requisite freshman bad experience), but right now almost any drink sounds great.

So, how sick is this? I am really looking forward to getting to do a pee stick on this cycle. It's been so long (well over a year) since our last chance encounter... and that pink box with one test left in it keeps calling out to me from the closet.

amy said...

I'll take one of those margaritas on the rocks....and go ahead and start making the second one.
We're awaiting transfer for IVF #1. Currently there are 8 embryos growing in a petri dish....we'll see how many are still around Saturday at transfer.
It will take all the self control I have to not pee on a stick this month....I can wait for the beta! I can wait for the beta! Maybe if I say it enough then it will become true.
Meanwhile I'd better enjoy the tequila before transfer....after all, I'm hoping to be alcohol free until June!!

Amy
dancingwithinfertility.blogspot.com

r_is_moody said...

I will take a very strong margarita on the rocks please.

Life just seems to be kicking my butt these days. Marriage issues, ttc for almost 3 years, 4 m/c and stopping ART for the moment. The reality that is my life just really sucks.

I have an edd every month for the next three months. So I think I might just crawl into a hole until Christmas.

Jess said...

I've never had tequila, I don't THINK. But then, I also never REALLY went to college. (I went a couple semesters mostly out of boredom, to a college nearby right before we were married).

So I'll take one of your tequila whatevers festooned with a pee stick. Why the hell not, after all! :)

I keep (Kept? Not really sure at this time) pee sticks, too. By MY panty liners, above the toilet. Funny!

I've got nothing real to talk about today. Life as usual. Pregnancy going well, I suppose...can't wait to make it into the 30's in weeks...but not too long till that now. I have an OB appt on Monday and have a 3d/4d u/s scheduled for Oct 1. Ava is doing well, too...rolling, eating cereal, etc...nuts how fast it happens. She's got a heart check and a hearing check soon, both of which are worrisome but just precautions.

Other than that, life as usual. Thinking always of you ladies still in the trenches.

Karaoke Diva said...

I could use some liquid courage to help me make it through the next 4 weeks. Make mine a jumbo mango margarita with a double shot of Cabo Wabo. Since this is the only way I can drink for the next 9 months (hopefully), I better make it count.

Karaoke Diva said...

Oh, and I didn't discover tequila until just a few years ago. When I was in college I got drunk on cinnamon schnaupps (Hot Damn!). I can't even smell the stuff without gagging now.

megan said...

awesome! i just asked Samantha YESTERDAY if we could come to the virtual lushary even if it wasn't officially open and today. . . here you are! i had no idea that on top of your many gifts you were also psychic, Mel!

i'll have a margarita on the rocks too, please. can you sub grand mariner for the triple sec please? thanks. i also want to buy a round for the house.

could you put some belief serum in mine too? i have no idea what that might be, but in my mind it is akin to truth serum. if i have some, it will make me believe....give me confidence in the notion that i'm actually pregnant. it's just so unbelievable to me that after two long years and two losses (one just this past may) i'm pregnant. ten and a half weeks today and it still doesn't compute. bring on the second trimester, please. (please. please. . . )

i wish the best of all of the ladies in the house. can i hug all of you? i'm feeling huggy.

okay. i'm about to go stalk a whole bunch of you.

Kami said...

Tequila was my first drink - nothing but straight shots. I was a late bloomer though - didn't try to get drunk the first time until I was 26. Once was enough for me, thanks. Now a glass of wine and DH can have his way with me. Today I would like to be social and have a margarita.

I am right on the edge of retrieval for IVF #5 but my first with DE. I found a stranger to be our known donor and we have since bonded. It has been an amazing experience. I would have preferred our own genetics, but this is better than I could imagine a donor egg cycle going.

Of course, the important part is that we get pregnant - 15 days until beta, but who's counting?

A.M.S. said...

Ah, Tequila. I'll have mine on the rocks with plenty of salt.

My first drunk story involved learning the lesson to NEVER say the following to a bartender, "I'd like another bloody mary, but this time, could you make sure to put some vodka in it?"

As for pee sticks, I tend to think they are evil and I stayed as far away from them as I could. Everytime I buckled to the peer pressure and used one, I ended up way more miserable than if I'd just waited. I'm glad I stuck to my no-pee-stick rule this last time, although after the positive beta, I think I pee'd on about 10.

Michell said...

Oh yeah, I can relate to that whole the first attempt thinking maybe my period was wrong thing. I think today I will have some grape pucker (if you can find it, I can't) with 7-up. I love it, it tastes like grape kool-aid with some kick. And this should be the last for a while as it looks like I am very sooning jumping on the injectibles/IUI train.

Kim said...

Yummmm. Margaritas - keep 'em flowing, Mel!

Nothing really new on the IF front. Still on a break. It's CD something. 11? I think. This is the last cycle of the break. We'll try one more IUI with my current doctor and then move on from there.

My first drunk? I was an early bloomer, as much as I hate to admit. I got trashed at a Prom party when I was in 8th grade. (I think now, WTF was I doing at a prom party in 8th grade but anyway). I was with my sister in the middle of nowhere. I even did a keg stand. I ended up puking on someone's boots and she wanted to kick my a@*. Luckily, my basketball coach, at the time, stepped in to save the day. I later got dropped off at a friends' house and called my mom to "Come pick me the f@*% up" (in my own words). I didn't come home with any shoes that night. Needless to say, I did get grounded.

And honestly, I turned out ok, really!

Sunny said...

I would like a triple shot of tequila, no training wheels. I LOVE the stuff. It is my poison. I am tried from starting school. I am just plain tired. It looks like I might not get to truly change insurances until January. I guess more time to drink. I am playing catch since I didn't 'learn' how to drink until about 4 years ago. :) Man IF can really screw up a person.

T said...

It's only supposed to be VIRTUAL DRINKING? Well my liver would be overjoyed if that were the actual case. ay.

Ok - virtually, I'll absolutely have a shot or two of tequila - make it a rapido - yee haw - been a long time since I've had one of those.

I'm starting my 9th fresh ivf in a few weeks - cause enough to be drinking to forget reality? Yeah. gah.

btw M - you're a doll for doing all that you do - I don't know where you get the time. I also wondered if maybe there should be a 'veterans' blog category? No problem if not, just a suggestion if ppl are looking. I told you about my real wine consumption right? blah, blah, blah!

lub said...

Pour me a shot, grab the salt, get the lime- One, two, three- down the hatch! Thanks for the invite to belly up Mel! I am on cd 1 and in desperate need of a drink (although virtual) to "celebrate" and take advantage of my vices. This month we are planning to move forward with IF and schedule an IUI. Don't know if it will be able to be done this cycle or will wait until next. We'll see what ol' doc has to say Monday at our next consult.

First drinking experience??? Well, I drank shots of tequila out of a double shot glass (thought it was a single and made sure I had no more than 6...) whil chasing the shots with tostito chips. Needless to say, I ended up puking my guts out in my Easter basket. I remember we had a fire drill in our dorm that night and I had to drag my drunk and disgusting dry mouthed self down the stairs and out the door. Boy I must have been a sight!

xavier2001 said...

I need a drink, I feel like my issue at this point doesn't even compare to what you all are going through, but I had a frustrating day. After 3 years of ttc, finally we are days away from meeting our babes, my doc sent me for an induction today, got my hopes up, and after sitting at the hospital for 5 hours with an iv unable to eat or pee, the doc on call decided not to admit me and send me home, his reasoning, even though I'm full term, I'm not "past due" for 4 more days. Four flipping days and you are making me come back.

Bring on the margaritas!

Mel, if you don't want to post this I understand as I am no longer in the trenches and not sure if I have a place here or not.

Elizabeth said...

Clomid cycle #3, cancelled IUI #2, 10 dpo. There are no pee sticks in the house. Margarita, please!

Bea said...

I must admit, I feel a little better about all that tequila knowing it *had to be done* and that I actually had *no choice in the matter*. Thus reassured, I shall have another, so long as it's a pretend one this time. I think I'm doing really well, but it stuns me every time we learn we're still in the game, so clearly the nerves, they could use a little extra steadying.

Bea

Roy said...

I'm just going to continue to kick my own ass for never making it here on time. The one day I decide to avoid the internet to provide more cuddle time with R and the dogs, just had to be lushary day. I quit, no more cuddle time, I miss all those times when I was one of the first 10 people at the lushary, when I could read the rest of the comments as they came in and not belatedly. I will try harder, Mel, I promise.

I've never had tequila. Maybe a sip of some sort of mixed thing that somebody handed me, but never knowingly. I'm a tequila virgin, please be gentle, Mel.

One round of court down, who knows how many or when remaining. I blogged some about it, there's so much to recap that I'm never going to get around to the "full" story, plus I constantly forget fun parts and it makes the story so out of order. I hate trying to stay chronological and messing it up beyond recognition, so I'm not even going to try.

Congrats or tears where warranted, good luck or "that fucking sucks" to anybody else (with the occassional "I hope you feel better soon" and "I want to kiss those tiny toes" thrown in just to switch things up). I love you all. I will try to do better next time.

Elizabeth said...

Just found the time to go through and read everybody's posts - I'm glad I'm not the only late bloomer out there - I think my first real drunk was within the past 5 years for sure. It was a pig roast at a vineyard one hot summer day, where they had some 40 different wines available for tasting. After going through the line a couple times I was singing "happy birthday" - my husband has never let me forget it!

He has some great tequila stories of his own though!

Schatzi said...

SO late to the lushary *sigh*

Anything, as long as it has a cool little umbrella in it.

Stimming for IVF #6 right now, and it is going really well. No, I am actually serious :-). Go figure. Even more exciting... my bastard bil who stole our identities and rampaged through our finances was arrested yesterday.

In celebration... another round for everyone!!!!

Tigger said...

Tequila sunrise for me. :) Between friends having contractions, nieces attempting labor, failing tests, mom having cancer again (most likely fatal this time) and AF being a 4 day late bitch with a negative beta....I think being at the bottom of a bottle is a good idea. Sign me up!

Anonymous said...

Mel, you are a superwoman indeed. The blogging alone, do your kids go hungry? shoeless? how do you do it?

Th Tequila is mighty cold, just the way I like it. Szhszhszh. Oooh, that lime was tart! Me: missed a period for the first time in my life. Is it menopause? I am 45. Oh God, that is depressing. Am I "P" Ha, that's a good one. Is it just breastfeeding related. I hear that it is common to skip periods. Thank goodness I have no idea where my pee sticks are, I could easily get sucked into a fantasyland and end up sad...

Samantha, sorry about the timing of your SIL's announcement. I have a friend who's pee stick was negative the am of her beta and she was preg with twins and her beta was 1,700! So you are right, it ain't over until the beta. Good luck!!!

screeech. bar stool pushing away from bar. I godda go now, slur slur. Thangz ladiez.

The Town Criers said...

Who was that last drinker? How did she know that we're all shoeless?

MLO said...

On top of the IF stuff, I just found out chocolate is under threat. Chocolate!

This is a bad time of year for me due to my brother (this is not on my blog), having his baby around this time and everything that went with it. He and his wife were very two-faced, at one point saying how they understood how painful events were around this for us, and then complaining how we didn't acknowledge the pregnancy. And to rub salt on the wound, announced no relatives would be in the link of custody due to their religion - which is shared by our very close cousin. This guarantees this was just a case of them choosing friends over family once again. (I pretty much can't stand my brother and his wife right now.) Oh, and my DH was a complete bonehead last year and did something I told him explicitly not to do around this situation and then couldn't understand why I was as angry as I was.

This is not an isolated case of idiocy by any measure. They were rude to one of the sweetest, kindest relatives we had and she has decided to never even acknowledge them again. That is not something one would expect from them, ever.

On top of this, soon, I will be a year older myself. Before the month ends. Of course, my parents expect me to be the bigger person in all this since I'm the oldest and always the "responsible one." God forbid I should choose to protect myself.

I'm on Progesterone BCPs + Femara awaiting to start cycling so all of the emotions are right on the surface and magnified. Aren't mood swings fun?

So, I am insane and trying to concentrate at work during our busy time with people who are mad that they have to follow a process to do what they have to do.

Hrm... my btrqy comes awful close to "b***hy". Maybe my DH is right that my brother is a version of a friend of ours with no redeeming qualities. Oh, I did mention that none of my or my husbands friends and other family like them either?

Not feeling peaceful right now,

MLO

Julia said...

Hi, ladies. I am new here.

I have been doing battle with my PCOS for 8 years now, and this time it looks to have gotten a serious upper hand. So as a last ditch effort I am currently on a ten-day bleh diet to try to shock my body into behaving again. Today is day 5, so this virtual drink is just what I needed. Can you make it a pink grapefruit margarita? Or 5? Thanks, you are a dear.

Anyway, I am twiddling my thumbs until my very first RE appointment next month. We will go from there, I guess, but I think I see needles in my future. Did I mention today is CD63? Yeah, baby.

So about getting drunk... It's almost impossible to get me drunk, I am sorry to say. I get buzzed, but then clear it out very fast. So most of my fun stories are about other people. Which I guess don't count. My one good one is from getting drunk with a friend by drinking bottles and bottles of good red wine, just the two of us, and talking for hours. Let's just say that my daughter had some frozen breast milk the next morning. (She was almost a year old then and only nursed in the mornings and evenings.)

hope548 said...

Margarita on the rocks, please and thank you! On the adoption front, just waiting on the social worker assigned to us to call and introduce herself to begin the home study and juggling life all the while. I can, in fact, juggle.

Tequila used to be my friend. My first shot did feel like a rite of passage. Lucky for me, I did not burn myself on it, but I know plenty of people who have! Now I usually just kick back with a beer, but virtual tequila is yummy! Thanks for opening the bar! I think the community you have created here is amazing!

Paz said...

Mel, that accidentally anonymous blogger is me, PAZ!
shoelessly yours...

Ms. Planner said...

Hey there y'all.

I cut my teeth on tequila in high school (yes, high school) and ended an otherwise fabulous night praying at the porcelian altar. Haven't been able to touch the stuff since then. Bummer for me.

Speaking of, I've had 2 miscarriages in the past year. In between I've been charting, temping, acupuncturing and herbing (the TCM kind of herb, not the wacky kind). We are on our last cycle of do-it-yourself and then we make a decision: try IVF or move right to adoption. And I am torn. So scared and torn about it all.

Now that I think about it, I'll try that bottle of Pinot Noir. Yes, a bottle. Not a glass.

mchope said...

So I am really late to the bar! I will take a traditional margarita (w/tequila!) on the rocks with salt. We are a little further down the road to our first IVF cycle. We got the green light for shared risk last week and we are on the books for a November cycle. I start BCPs in mid October with the beginning of my next cycle. Can't really think of a great college drinking story, suffice to say that I discovered beer and we became really good friends my freshman year. Is it just me or were hangovers MUCH less painful back then? Thanks, bartender!

Searching said...

I'll just take a Shirley Temple, extra cherry please. (No, not preggo, just don't do alcohol). Had a pretty crummy last few days. Sick, sick munchkins at work and bad news from the doc. Cheers!

Sami said...

I'll take a strawberry margarita... as for me while I am extremely overjoyed at having Squeaky here it'd be really nice if he actually nursed. I thought nursing was supposed to be so easy, yet I have a lazy son who won't wake up for his pumped milk and latches on the boob maybe once out of 5 times... A part of me feels like a failure and the other part reminds myself that he was early and that lazy white boys don't always get it for a while... hand me another margarita - it's virtual and I could use the liquor. Thanks for listening.

DearJenn said...

I'm all over a shot of Patron. Bring it on.

I'm blessed enough to have a beautiful eleven month old daughter. We had two years of unexplained infertility. I can't say which is worse, knowing your evil or not but I will say that it sucks either way.

Drinking stories? Ahh, too many to probably relate. But one sticks in my mind, playing drinking games in college. I was a lightweight, still am, and lost a drinking game- Queens if memory serves me. I was laying on the floor too drunk to move and because I lost, my roommate's boyfriend was sitting on me threatening to pour the beer I was supposed to drink as the loser all over me if I didn't open my mouth. I was too stupid to live. Why I didn't just let him pour it on me I will never know. The rest is history.

dearjenn said...

Is it ok to say I've already had two drinks tonight and when I posted my comment it didn't pick up my hyperlink? WTH? Here it is if you were even remotely interested in hearing the saga of a Type A personality with unexplained infertility. Now there's a fantastic combination.
www.dearjenn.blogs.com