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Friday, August 10, 2007

Friday Blog Roundup

Okay, so perhaps I am growing a little too attached to the Lost and Found page. I was daydreaming today about turning it into a newsletter that is emailed out to everyone's inbox--a simple sheet that people can read and know what is happening in the blogosphere and the greater IF/pg loss world. Perhaps it hasn't grown yet to be newletter worthy. But this week alone, I got to hear updates on a few lost bloggers, learn about new blogs, and not miss Oprah because I had a written reminder. As Oprah would say/sing: "Love it!"

So here is my question of the week (since y'all gave me a lot of food for thought with the propping debate. I think we're done with propping. I think we're firmly jumping the line and landing on the non-propping side): would you be upset if I added your news to the Lost and Found page without you sending it to me? The page would become a combination of stuff I read on your blog--not things emailed to me off-blog--such as a pregnancy announcement or a loss as well as any announcements that you do email me to post. My reasoning--there are many losses and failed cycles in the blogosphere right now who can use some support but haven't emailed me directly to ask me to put it on the list. There are also pregnancy announcements that should be celebrated. Sometimes people have cool things happening on their blog like Patience's World Tour that they don't specifically tell me to put on the list. And I love this list.

If we all read it and supported the people on it and used it... It makes me feel like I'm standing in a single room with all of you and we're at this huge daily cocktail party where in one corner, people are musing, "whatever did happen to getupgrrl?" and in another corner, a blogger going through a loss realizes that she has people from all over the world who have her back. And everyone is invited to the party--it's an open invite to anyone who has had to work hard for parenthood.

Forgive me, I really need the cocktail party myself. So I'm dragging all of you with me. Plus, I hate the idea of anyone ever feeling alone. Or people shouting into the blogosphere, "I need some support" and not receiving it simply because everyone got busy at the same time and didn't read many blogs that week. A simple post that everyone can bookmark or send the link to themselves to check off of email (I have it bookmarked in my favourites folder on Mozilla) would solve that problem.

When I first started the blogroll in the sidebar, I asked people before I added them or I waited for people to tell me that they wanted to be on the list. People still email me to be added and I'm always grateful when someone does that. But soon after I started the list, I realized that no one had ever said "no" and started adding people and the list grew to epic proportions. For all I know, people are pissed beyond belief that they're on the list and just have never told me ( can tell me and I can take you off if you're pissed beyond belief), but I have a feeling that most people don't mind having others find their blog.

I would like to add announcements and cool things to the Lost and Found page that I read on your blogs. But I don't want to overstep a line. So please weigh in and let me know if you would be upset to find out that I had pointed people towards your blog if you were going through a loss or celebrating a pregnancy/birth/adoption. Again, this is information you've already sent into the blogosphere by posting about it on your own blog. This is not any information that you tell me via email off-blog unless you ask me to post it. This, of course, comes with a two-fold disclaimer: (1) please keep sending me things because I can get behind on things. So don't wait for me to find it or add it--email it if you want it on the Lost and Found page and (2) please don't be upset if I do miss your news. It isn't a slight on your blog or you. Sometimes I get behind.

I considered asking this with a poll, but I'd really like to hear the "why" behind the vote too. So, leave your thoughts in a comment or email them to me. And not to go crazy with it, but I've thought of adding an end note to my posts with a link to the Lost and Found page. Please use it. I'd like to make the world a little smaller. For myself. And if you get things from it too, all the better.

Okay, and now the blogs that I write about without asking people beforehand too (damn, I'm just stepping over lines left and right today).

Round Two has the most incredibly moving post this week about the birth of her triplets. It brought me back immediately to the premature birth of the twins--the anger, the sadness, the disconnect, the joy. The nightly calls for weight gain. Staring at the clock, wishing you could hold your baby for just two more minutes but you're already ten minutes over time. I love the last two lines: "It has been such a long journey, but here we are. Yes here we are at the beginning of a whole new adventure." Welcome home, Round Two.

Alexa at Flotsam makes me laugh. She really is a salty lassi. Read here if you needed to pee in your pants at your desk. This is turning into one of the most amusing IVF cycles I've ever vicariously experienced.

Kristen at Sticky Bean has a gorgeous post this week about miscarriage and marriage (and the bizarre fact that a few letters are added to marriage to spell miscarriage which I had never noticed before). She states the two sides: on one hand, "the loss of your mutual creation makes it only natural to seek solace in each other. Who would understand THIS loss better than your significant other? A friend or family member may have experienced miscarriage and loss but they aren't living through THIS one right now" and on the other, "the loss can become the elephant in the room. The thing that you don't discuss and try to ignore, even though it impossible to miss. You suffer silently in your own ways. Perhaps you don't want to burden your partner with your feelings since you know they are having a hard time too. Or perhaps you feel resentment or guilt." The part that made me pause was when she said, "I am finding it hard to figure out which category my husband and I are in right now." The post is achingly beautiful and intelligent and thoughtful.

B at the Shifty Shadow has a post directed at her friends as she wonders how to fit in with fertile friends after her daughter's neonatal death. She writes so beautifully: "
I am sorry my friends.... but I struggle to see you on your own terms. I see, or more accurately, I feel your life as the photo of my negative...... What is a baby in your arms is a dark hole in the negative. What is a pregnant belly in your photo is deep blackness in my image." As well as her final thought: "I do know that I do love you and do not want to lose your friendship. I just don't know how to keep it."

I close with a favourite post from OOC from Our Own Creation. She wrote an ode to her husband this week called "And That's Why I Love Him" where he semi re-pierces her nose for her (you need to read the post to understand so click over). After the stud is back in place and she is sobbing in gratitude, he says, "You never have to panic when I’m around." And it is the absolute perfect moment in a perfect post.

Speaking of odes, I have another batch ready for this upcoming week. But before you click away into the blogosphere, please take a moment to answer the question above in this post about whether you'd be upset to see your news (only if it is printed first in your blog--not if you told it to me off-blog) on the Lost and Found page.


Reproductive Jeans said...

A newsletter type email would be fab--or just posting news. I dont mind, so thats my vote=)

A.M.S. said...

The way I see it, if I didn't want the world to know about it, I wouldn't post it in the first place, so I have absolutely no problem with you posting stuff from my blog.

I also think the newsletter is a great idea, but you might want to start getting some volunteers to help you out!

And that hubs of mine, he is a sweetie. Thanks for giving him some props! I tear up everytime I think about him saying it. I've always known that no matter what, he was right there, watching my back, but having him come out and say it meant more to me than anything. Goofy guy that he is, he doesn't get why it's a big deal.

sharah said...

Hey, if I've posted it, it's because I want people to know. And when I'm hurting, and need help, that's the hardest time to have to ask. So, please, re-post any big news you see fit.

Tina said...

I agree with a.m.s. and Sharah - if I post it, it is free game. ;) It is hard to ask for help when you really need it - trust me, that's how my anxiety really started.

A newsletter-ish thing would be waaay cool! Great way to keep all of us together - it is hard to keep tails on so many people all of the time!

Samantha said...

I think compiling information from people's blogs and putting it on the lost and found would be great - we already do that a smaller scale, like when we post, "Stop by X---- today. She needs [support, congrats, etc.]. I always appreciate a good link, and knowing about others.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I'm totally open to you posting and pointing people to my blog. I'll chime in and agree that if I post it it is fair game!

Starting my blog and connecting with all these great women in similar situations has been a silver lining in an otherwise dark, black cloud. If something I'm going through can help someone than I'm happy to share.

Jenna said...

Post away darlin'. Should I ever, EVER be in a place where there is news, you are welcome to it. I'm an open book, literally!

andrea_jennine said...

I''m all in favor of unsolicited announcements.

megan said...

it's very true -- if it's posted on my blog i suppose there is no reason not to list it here! it doesn't really make sense not to, does it? i approve!

Karaoke Diva said...

I'm with A.M.S. If I put it out there on my blog to be shared, then share away. You're not using my content in a plagiaristic (is that a word?) way, you're just sharing my news. More power to ya.

Karen said...

I have absolutely no problem with you posting news you read on my blog... I would probably have a problem with it if I had a password-protected blog. I know you're totally logical and together, so I'm guessing you've thought of that already and are logical enough to realize it may be a good idea to consider asking only those people who have password protected blogs...but just in case, those are my two cents!

PCOSMama said...

I agree - if it's on my blog, it's there for people to read so feel free to share! I never pass up a chance at gaining some readers! ;)

Kami said...

I like your idea - why? Because I don't even keep up with a small list of blogs (how anyone else does it I can't fathom) and would like to quickly get important news and offer support where it is needed.

Tigger said...

I think it's a wonderful idea. We blog it, so it's open news. Sometimes we just get busy, or forget, or just can't handle telling people more than once (in the case of a loss). For some it's all they can do to blog it, so I think it's a fantastic idea if you want to comb the blogs for news. :)

Chebbles' Mama said...

I'm such an exhibitionist, I can't even imagine someone NOT wanting to share their good and bad news at all times. I'm sure those people exist, and I'm sure I piss them off.

Kim said...

I'm all in. I think its a good way to quickly view what's going on with everyone on busy days.

Another great idea! You are full of them!

Trish said...

I'm fine with it.
I always feel weird sending my info it. Like all attention-whoreish. It's one thing to put it on my blog, cause people can come or not. But if I'm sending it to someone, I feel like I'm waving my hand around saying "hey hey! I'm over here! Pick me!"
And while I don't mind be an AW for good stuff.. I feel weird about the bad stuff. Like I'm looking for pity.
It makes no sense because I don't feel that way about other people, but that is how I feel about myself.
But if YOU choose to include info.. that's not on me.

If that makes any sense at all.

Lori said...

Ditto Trish.

Heather said...

I say post away...if you want to post stuff, post it.

I think that lots of people won't email you directly about a loss because at that time when they need support the most, they are in a place where they probably won't email you.

SmarshyBoy said...

I agree, if it's out there, it's fair game. Go get it.

I made your "Friday Roundup" once. I was very excited.

I still have alot to say, but I don't really blog about IF anymore. I'm afraid that's cost me about 90% of my readers. But if you ever see anything on my blog worthy of borrowing, you have my permission, blessing, and thanks.

passingwindows said...

The Lost & Found list sounds like a super idea and I wouldn't mind if anything published on my blog appeared on Lost & Found.

It's true that lots of failed cycles and losses pass without many people being aware of them and it would be great to have a Infertility Newsletter.

Meg said...

Nope dont mind at all...