Okay, so perhaps I am growing a little too attached to the Lost and Found page. I was daydreaming today about turning it into a newsletter that is emailed out to everyone's inbox--a simple sheet that people can read and know what is happening in the blogosphere and the greater IF/pg loss world. Perhaps it hasn't grown yet to be newletter worthy. But this week alone, I got to hear updates on a few lost bloggers, learn about new blogs, and not miss Oprah because I had a written reminder. As Oprah would say/sing: "Love it!"
So here is my question of the week (since y'all gave me a lot of food for thought with the propping debate. I think we're done with propping. I think we're firmly jumping the line and landing on the non-propping side): would you be upset if I added your news to the Lost and Found page without you sending it to me? The page would become a combination of stuff I read on your blog--not things emailed to me off-blog--such as a pregnancy announcement or a loss as well as any announcements that you do email me to post. My reasoning--there are many losses and failed cycles in the blogosphere right now who can use some support but haven't emailed me directly to ask me to put it on the list. There are also pregnancy announcements that should be celebrated. Sometimes people have cool things happening on their blog like Patience's World Tour that they don't specifically tell me to put on the list. And I love this list.
If we all read it and supported the people on it and used it... It makes me feel like I'm standing in a single room with all of you and we're at this huge daily cocktail party where in one corner, people are musing, "whatever did happen to getupgrrl?" and in another corner, a blogger going through a loss realizes that she has people from all over the world who have her back. And everyone is invited to the party--it's an open invite to anyone who has had to work hard for parenthood.
Forgive me, I really need the cocktail party myself. So I'm dragging all of you with me. Plus, I hate the idea of anyone ever feeling alone. Or people shouting into the blogosphere, "I need some support" and not receiving it simply because everyone got busy at the same time and didn't read many blogs that week. A simple post that everyone can bookmark or send the link to themselves to check off of email (I have it bookmarked in my favourites folder on Mozilla) would solve that problem.
When I first started the blogroll in the sidebar, I asked people before I added them or I waited for people to tell me that they wanted to be on the list. People still email me to be added and I'm always grateful when someone does that. But soon after I started the list, I realized that no one had ever said "no" and started adding people and the list grew to epic proportions. For all I know, people are pissed beyond belief that they're on the list and just have never told me (um...you can tell me and I can take you off if you're pissed beyond belief), but I have a feeling that most people don't mind having others find their blog.
I would like to add announcements and cool things to the Lost and Found page that I read on your blogs. But I don't want to overstep a line. So please weigh in and let me know if you would be upset to find out that I had pointed people towards your blog if you were going through a loss or celebrating a pregnancy/birth/adoption. Again, this is information you've already sent into the blogosphere by posting about it on your own blog. This is not any information that you tell me via email off-blog unless you ask me to post it. This, of course, comes with a two-fold disclaimer: (1) please keep sending me things because I can get behind on things. So don't wait for me to find it or add it--email it if you want it on the Lost and Found page and (2) please don't be upset if I do miss your news. It isn't a slight on your blog or you. Sometimes I get behind.
I considered asking this with a poll, but I'd really like to hear the "why" behind the vote too. So, leave your thoughts in a comment or email them to me. And not to go crazy with it, but I've thought of adding an end note to my posts with a link to the Lost and Found page. Please use it. I'd like to make the world a little smaller. For myself. And if you get things from it too, all the better.
Okay, and now the blogs that I write about without asking people beforehand too (damn, I'm just stepping over lines left and right today).
Round Two has the most incredibly moving post this week about the birth of her triplets. It brought me back immediately to the premature birth of the twins--the anger, the sadness, the disconnect, the joy. The nightly calls for weight gain. Staring at the clock, wishing you could hold your baby for just two more minutes but you're already ten minutes over time. I love the last two lines: "It has been such a long journey, but here we are. Yes here we are at the beginning of a whole new adventure." Welcome home, Round Two.
Alexa at Flotsam makes me laugh. She really is a salty lassi. Read here if you needed to pee in your pants at your desk. This is turning into one of the most amusing IVF cycles I've ever vicariously experienced.
Kristen at Sticky Bean has a gorgeous post this week about miscarriage and marriage (and the bizarre fact that a few letters are added to marriage to spell miscarriage which I had never noticed before). She states the two sides: on one hand, "the loss of your mutual creation makes it only natural to seek solace in each other. Who would understand THIS loss better than your significant other? A friend or family member may have experienced miscarriage and loss but they aren't living through THIS one right now" and on the other, "the loss can become the elephant in the room. The thing that you don't discuss and try to ignore, even though it impossible to miss. You suffer silently in your own ways. Perhaps you don't want to burden your partner with your feelings since you know they are having a hard time too. Or perhaps you feel resentment or guilt." The part that made me pause was when she said, "I am finding it hard to figure out which category my husband and I are in right now." The post is achingly beautiful and intelligent and thoughtful.
B at the Shifty Shadow has a post directed at her friends as she wonders how to fit in with fertile friends after her daughter's neonatal death. She writes so beautifully: "I am sorry my friends.... but I struggle to see you on your own terms. I see, or more accurately, I feel your life as the photo of my negative...... What is a baby in your arms is a dark hole in the negative. What is a pregnant belly in your photo is deep blackness in my image." As well as her final thought: "I do know that I do love you and do not want to lose your friendship. I just don't know how to keep it."
I close with a favourite post from OOC from Our Own Creation. She wrote an ode to her husband this week called "And That's Why I Love Him" where he semi re-pierces her nose for her (you need to read the post to understand so click over). After the stud is back in place and she is sobbing in gratitude, he says, "You never have to panic when I’m around." And it is the absolute perfect moment in a perfect post.
Speaking of odes, I have another batch ready for this upcoming week. But before you click away into the blogosphere, please take a moment to answer the question above in this post about whether you'd be upset to see your news (only if it is printed first in your blog--not if you told it to me off-blog) on the Lost and Found page.