The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Hope and Cheers and Crying in Your Beers...

Better late than never. It has been a quiet summer and somehow July almost passed without a Virtual Lushary. No imaginary lemon drop shots. No invisible bottles of microbrewed beer. Not even a non-existent latte for the last six weeks.

But I'm throwing open the doors today to squeeze in one last Lushary before it becomes August. So please stop in and let us know what has been happening with you.

As always, it has been a little over a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I'll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life EXCEPT if that update involves Harry Potter since I haven't finished yet. There are many, many exciting pregnancy announcements to toast, new paths to parenthood to cheer, and, unfortunately, losses to grieve. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person's blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don't have a blog--gasp!--you can always leave an email address if you're looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you're a regular at the bar, I'll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I'm glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking.

Oh--and if you haven't done so, go to the International Infertility Film Festival website and vote for your favourite film. There's Love to be won in this contest. Oh...and my film, just in case you wanted to know, is What the Gardener Knows. I'm just saying...


littleangelkisses said...

Am I first?

What's going on with my huh? Well, I'm waiting as patiently as I can for AF to show. We have decided to participate in a Clinical trial. Only it's for women from 21-35. I turn 36 on September 19th. So between now and then I must have all the bloodwork done and do BCP and be taking the stim injections. BEFORE I turn 36 or I won't be able to participate. No pressure or anything, right?

Please pour me a strong drink that will do one of two things...bring AF on this week so that we can participate OR keep her away for 9+ months. I don't really care what it tastes just needs to work!

Heather said...

I'm in the 2ww of my third IUI. I can totally use a virtual drink though.

Dianne/Flutter said...

Hi Mel. I guess, I am making up for missing the last :).

May I have a vodka sour. Continuation from this weekend. My sister's bachelorette.

So, where shall I start. BFN on the third IUI - got my period on Saturday, so at least I could drink for the bachelorette.

We have one more to go, then we are off this bumpy road. I am feeling - well - down today. Emotionally exhausted. And slightly lucky that even though I have two cysts on my ovaries, I don't have to sit it out.

Also, I did post on HP on my blog, but that post is so down on my view, that you have nothing to worry about :). What part are you on by the way? Where are you on this crazy infertile highway?

FattyPants said...

Tequila...any kind, double shot. IUI #2 failed so now I'm sitting here spotting waiting for my stupid period.

crap, just give me the bottle. You offer virtual designated drivers too right?

Mands said...

Hi gals... quiet start huh? Good luck Heather! What can I say Diane, I am very sorry for the outcome of your IUI - chin up girlfriend.
Hey Mel! It's been ages since I was in here last... um, lets see... I'll have a appletini - never had it before.
I am due for lap #3 in about 2 weeks, and then IVF #1. Here's a toast to 2007 ending well for all of us... ching ching!
Oh and also raise a glass to the BFP's - lets not forget that these girls have been in the trenches with us all this time they deserve the break the have been blessed with.

Caro said...

Strawberry daiquiri for me please.

I'm just starting the tww of a DIY cycle. Planning to start lots of tests next cycle but also hoping it doesn't come.

Kate said...

A virtual G&T sounds really good right now. Just waiting for my next u/s and hoping everything is ok. Also thinking about JJ and raising a glass for her and Mook.

Karaoke Diva said...

Let's see... Tequila Sunrise, please. With a double shot of tequila.

We just failed our 11th IUI. Three eggs popped out, but not a one of them stuck around. We've got 1-2 more chances via IUI and then it's off to the wonderful world of IVF.

And to think, just 4 years ago I got pregnant on our very first, single IUI.

P.S. I don't think it's any small coincidence that my word verification is DAMNZ.

Shelby said...

I'd love a glass of red, but I will behave and go for a chocolate milkshake.
After my first OB ultrasound last week revealed 2 sacs, I was shocked. But in the last week, I became really excited about it. I couldn't wait to see both heartbeats today! Only I didn't.
First sac- showed one baby, measuring perfectly, with a strong heartbeat. Second sac, showed an embryo measuring 6 days behind, with no heartbeat. Looks like that one isn't going to survive, and will reabsorb. I'm sad, but my husband's sigh of relief made that short lived. He's just so relieved to only have 1 baby, that I feel like I can't be sad in front of him. I am though. I really wanted both. Of course, it will be easier with just one, and I'm grateful to have one. So lucky. But I can't help but feel some grief for the one who won't survive.

Thanks for the milkshake- they always help. At least a little.

Nica said...

Fattypants, can I sit next to you? I was thinking that a bottle of Tequila might be a good thing right now. Can we share?

My MIL got busted for caring a "concealed weapon" in her Alzheimer's daycare today. (full story on my blog).

I have have the IVF training class at my new clinic tomorrow. Which scares me more than I can explain.

Maybe I need a bottle of my own...

Alyson & Ford said...

Congratulations Shelby! Still, very good news.

My DH and I have been making Lemon Sparklers for the family. I think it will be our summer "signature" drink.
We are enduring the long China adoption wait.....

LID 01/27/06

Cece said...

Grain alcohol, straight into my viens.

OK, it's not THAT bad, but insurance denial #2 has royally pissed me off... but on the up side, consult with New doc next week puts a little sunshine in my day.

Truth be told, I'd also like a glass of champagne - cheers to Serenity for her BFP!

Lori said...

Hello, ladies. Glad to join you all.

I just met an online friend for the first time. An adult adoptee I have connected with over the last 2 years drove up with her kids and spent the morning with me and my kids. We had such a wonderful time and it was better even than I had hoped.

I've had an otherwise crazy day, but I hope to blog about it tomorrow.

Mojito, please.

MLO said...

Since I can't every drink alcohol (allergic) I'll settle for a bottled water. I've never needed substances to have fun.

Doing a CCCT here while suffering from a nasty sunburn - that story is on my public blog. Once that is done - and as long as the numbers aren't astronomical - I start lupron. The insurance adventure will be on my private blog (email contact on my blog, if interested.) Is it medical or pharmaceutical? Who knows? (Remember, lupron is not a "fertility" medication, it is a medicine for endometriosis.)



Ah, the joys of insurance companies.

Reproductive Jeans said...

Oh my GOD perfect was awful, simply awful. BFN on IVF#1 when they said we were "so textbook" What does that even mean anymore....

Ill take the works. A shot, followed by a LIT, then another shot...get the idea?=)

Thanks...i needed that.

S said...

I need a mojito. Badly.

I THOUGHT that I'd be starting IVF#4 the end of last week, but it seems that a certain large national lab where I got my bloodwork drawn three months ago somehow has NO PROOF that I was there. So, guess who had to have it all redone?

Yup. Plus, it was for karyotyping and Fragile X/DNA, so it will take 2-4 weeks to process, which will squarely place me doing an IVF cycle at the beginning of the school year-just what I wanted...

Oh, hell....screw the rest of the ingredients-just give me the whole damn bottle.

andrea_jennine said...

I'm actually dying for a cup of Earl Grey tea, after being very strict with myself about the no caffeine instructions for this 2nd IVF. Tomorrow (7/31), we find out whether our blastocyst transfer has turned into a pregnancy or not. My hopes are pretty low, because our embryo was a slow grower - we got pushed back to a day-6 transfer, and even then it had only made it to early blast stage. But I guess it could still happen...

By the way, thanks for the Jasper Fforde recommendation. I had never heard of him, but I'm really enjoying the Eyre Affair right now!

Chili said...

Late to the lushary again... so typical of me! ;)

I'll just have a tall glass of milk. Everything else is aggravating my met gut. ;)

I don't even know what CD I'm on... After last cycles 110 days I just don't care at this point! And it feels so good to feel that way!

Hoping the Met will shorten things up a bit. Can't imagine if this one is worse... Yeesh!

R and I have a day at the spa booked next weekend, so that is something to look forward to. We've had the gift cert for almost a year so it's about time.

chicklet said...

I'm in the midst of my first 2ww post-IUI and deep down, I'm terrified. Obsessed, and terrified. Cuz I'm a little TOO damn positive, and that can only lead to bad things.

Therefore, tequila for all! Particularly Reproductive Jeans, A Someday Mom, and Fatty Pants - you know you deserve one ladies! Don't forget the lime!

Drowned Girl said...

I'm off today for my DE FET, so noalcohol for me, just los of good vibes please!

Rebecca said...

Still in the same stupid place I was last time. Am not entitled to tests until I turn 30 unless I can 'prove' I'm suffering from something ie endo or PCOS - but how can I prove it without any tests? Catch 22. Mindfuck.

Still DIYing. Period fucking me about, but am not pregnant. Temperature up and down like nobody's business - why DOES it do that?

Husband - still in denial.

Oooh, it's a bag of fun.

I'll have an Irish coffee - since I've given up caffeine and see no point, I might as well have both, right?!

Rebecca said...

Oh, and. The password for my blog is chasingwords, dunno if I said before but it feels rude to exclude you. Passworded to keep my nosy mother out of it!

Tina said...

How about a nice Long Island Iced Tea for me??? Not my norm, but with the way work has been lately, I am ready to escape in an alcoholic haze...

I am waiting for Provera to work it's magic so I can get AF and start my Clomid/IUI cycle in August... WooHoo!

Until then, I am ready to ready to BBQ several people around work - my boss included (who I love dearly, but has put waaaay too many demands on me right now). No one wants to help with crap these days, so as I watch others talk the day away, I have a line forming at my office that leads down the hallway with program participants, associate directors and other fools who don't know who they are supposed to see around here. I was very tempted last week just to drive off into the sunset and never return to work...but then I would have stranded my carpooler. What a sucker I am...

Samantha said...

Boy, everyone's got quite some stories today at the virtual lushery. I'm going to join the tequila drinking crowd. A friend of mine gave us a bottle of tequila from Mexico and I really like it, but gotta watch how much I drink, so I'll enjoy some more here at the lushery where I don't have to worry about the side effects!

July hasn't been my best month from a reproductive standpoint. First, my FET cycle was transfered because of a high level of progesterone in a blood test. Personally I think it was a screw-up because subsequent testing showed pre-ovulatory progesterone and here I am on CD42 with low BBTs. Then I had to have emergency laparascopic surgery for a small intestine obstruction, which may be endo-related (new for me) but I can't verify that because pathology hasn't yet bothered to examine the biopsy or else they lost the specimen. Yep, it's definitely complain mode at Southern Infertility!

I am very happy for the spate of BFPs going around, though I'm sad for those of you trying you didn't make it.

serenity said...

Um since it's a virtual lushary can I have a glass of wine please? I was expecting to have one on Saturday, and I didn't get to have it.

I'm still kind of in shock about my BFP. I'm not sure when it'll become real to me.

Anyway. I'd like to buy a round for everyone else here right now. Because if it weren't for all of you bloggers, I'd be a MESS.

So the next one's on me, ladies!

Jules said...

A Midori Illusion please. Can I have that when I've got the Flu?

Yes, I've been struck down by the dreaded beast. I got sick a couple of weeks ago & got better, but it's back.

On the ART front, we are waiting for our appointment in August.

Hello to everyone. Hope you're all well.

Jules xoxoxo

Bean said...

I know I'm late to the party, if the bar is still open I'll have a mojito. I don't have much to tell. I'm still trying to figure out what to do next--after deciding to fire my RE. Do I bother trying to get insurance coverage for a consult at a new clinic? This would mean scheduling an appointment with my PCP and lots more paperwork and god knows maybe another semen analysis, and still no guarantee they'll cover it. Sometimes I really hate HMOs. But of course if I don't that means paying out of pocket and we don't have much money left. UGH. I feeling frustrated by the fact that we're kind of nowhere right now. And even though the first 4 IVFs have failed, I'm jealous of all you ladies out there who are in or preparing for a cycle. Hmm, can I have two please?!

Alexa said...

Bucket-sized margarita, please. Extra salt.

I start Lupron day after tomorrow for my first IVF cycle (and the only one we can afford), and my mind keeps playing a list of all the ways it can go wrong: Failed suppression, canceled before retrieval (thanks, PCOS!), canceled after retrieval but before transfer, negative beta, a fourth get the general idea. Hopefully the margarita will quiet my brain for a bit.

My thoughts are with everyone enduring a recent negative, and with everyone in the terrifying pre-ultrasound days of a positive as well.

Shelli said...

Better late than never, so they say. Since it's the AM, I'll settle for a bloody mary.

I am a lurker (well, now I'm not. Been trying for #2 for 2.5 years. Just getting over m/c #4 which may or may not be "done" yet. I think I may hold the record for longest m/c wait after an "incomplete" d&e. So, not only do I have bad luck with eggs, apparently my body sees fit that I suffer even more.

I am on hold at the moment, expecting to jump back into TTC in October, probably moving to injectibles... if I don't lose my mind before then. Or my spirit.

Pamela Jeanne said...

I'm feeling just a tad sorry for myself at the moment. Lots of BFPs going on out there and it feels a bit like being permanently abandoned. I know their blogs will ultimately transition to mommy blogs and I wonder will the women who cross over forget about those who didn't make it to the finish line. I struggle with this quite a bit because I like to think that if I did ever get pregnant I would be generous of heart and keep offering support but at the same time I understand why women would want to forget they ever lived in an infertile state. So you see, I'm also feeling conflicted.

That means I could use something that will numb my tortured mind. How about a Long Island Ice Tea??

Rachel said...

Shelby, I am so sorry about the loss of the one baby. I hope that everything goes well with the second!

I am toasting the fact that we found out we are having a boy. My husband is thrilled.

We have both been less scared about losing this pregnancy too after finding out the gender, this may actually happen!

Michell said...

Oh yeah, count me in. I think I will have a virgin raspberry margarita as I am choosing to still believe I'm in the TWW. Regardless of what the stupid PA at the hospital said yesterday when he did a beta on me that was too early (6 dpo).

Carla said...

Shelby, I think I'll join you with a chocolate milkshake--I've been dieting and that sounds divine. We've had 2 natural cycles and one IUI since my miscarriage in April, and all were BFNs. Now we will try a few medicated IUIs, and if they don't work, it's IVF time. We are refinancing the house and consolidating some debt, which would make IVF MUCH easier on the wallet. Keep your fingers crossed for me---the appraiser was out this morning, and his numbers have got to be good! His report is all we are waiting on, so I'm going to be a basket case for the next few days. We can't do a shared risk IVF, unless there is one out there without an age limit (I'll be 37 in February), so its going to be all out of pocket. Damn the evil insurance companies!!

Dianne/Flutter said...

May I have another...Mind Eraser....anyone else want to join?

Dianne/Flutter said...

Pamela Jeanne...I went to try and read your blog. Well, you probably know why I am back.

Your post spoke to me. I've been feeling left behind. And by EVERYONE. It is making me feel a little down. Just a little :').

Mel, I'm done with my mind eraser...may I have another. Man I know these things work. I drank enough of them in my early twenties.

A.M.S. said...

Ooh, a tequila crowd this month! Count me in! I'll drink a toast to the bfps and commiserate with the bfns/cancelled cycles/on a breaks/whatever. I'm hip-deep in non-ART related stress that I won't bore you with.

Mrs. B said...

Hi, I'm new here but fairly outgoing so I'll just take a seat anywhere there's an opening and a good pair of ears! Oh and I'll take a whiskey Sour, thanks!

I am 35 y/o, been trying since Feb 06, no luck, (of course, big surprise). I am currently on my 2nd cycle of Clomid (last month was a bust) and that is about all we will be able to do, medically. My DH doesn’t believe in taking it any further so either this step works or we’ll be on our own again next month until either we get PG or menopause starts…

Nice to meet you all, if you get bored one day stop by my blog. I’ll be back here on a regular basis!

Jenn said...

Well since this is virtual, I will have a mojito. My new favorite drink. Currently in the 2WW after IUI number??? Don't think this one worked & I just don't know what I want to do next. A break again or keep going?

Pamela Jean - I was just contemplating today what I would do with my blog if I do ever get pregnant; keep it going or end it? I think I will still need support from ladies who understand that a positive test isn't the end of this road.

Congrats to all the ladies with BFPs and big refills to those of you having some bad luck.

Chris said...

I'll take one of anything sour!

I'm feeling one million times better (mentally and physically) after last week's emotional purge but a virtual drink is always welcome!

Hope everyone's wait (and we're all waiting for something, aren't we) passes quickly and with good results.


Grad3 said...

try again... I will have a Mike's Hard Berry, so tasty :)

(pulling up a stool)... Barely escaped a pg as it turns out I o'ed this month. I know most people are thinking 'escape'? After 5 m/c's, this last one after a hb... yes, I escaped it. Whew! (leaning back in my bar chair)

Still waiting to do a saline u/s got pushed off b/c AF did not arrive in time as we will be gone cd7-10.

Husband still not talking about what the 2nd opinion said (post is up about that)... and I keep hurting my pg friend and pg sister's feelings. The bitterness just keeps sliping out every once in while. I really don't mean to... I said "at least you can have swollen feet" I was trying to offer a diffrent perspective... now the guilt about it. This is just hard ya know?

ms. c said...

A little late to the game, but here nonetheless.

A milkshake would be fabulous-chocolatey and thick. (And with a shot of virtual Bailey's...)

It's been a tough few weeks. Right after our positive I was so elated, but in the past few weeks I can't feel anything but anxious.

Don't get me wrong- I am hugely grateful that we have made it this far. Bit I feel very guilty about being a pregnant IFer. Plus, I got a nasty comment from an "annonymous lurker" who basically told me to get over myself.

I blogged all about that shittiness, but for you guys here let me say: it never ceases to amaze me what a wonderful, comapssionate, caring and supportive group you fine people are. I would not have made it this far without you.

amy said...

Margarita on the rocks!! Make it two!!
We're in the 2 week wait for our 3rd IUI with injects (5th IUI overall) and we're moving on to IVF if the beta is negative next Monday. I'm on the edge of my seat.

Roy said...

Son of a @$%^$, I really need to get back into my schedule of stopping by daily, as soon as I wake up. By the time I show up, the lushary is a whole day old and I've missed so much.

I've spent the past few days chauffeuring R around. Stupid "seizure" that we really don't have a true diagnosis of yet (since he has to see a neurologist for that, and he can't do that till Aug 24, my birthday). It's been long, I haven't spent this much time with him since I left. I was here for one night last week, then suddenly got called into work the following day, and then the next morning R was going into the ER so I came back up. And I've been here since Saturday afternoon. Until now, we've been limited to a couple days together at a time, I think this much is our limit. I'm ready to get back downstate. I want to get back to the baby I nanny and relax without somebody saying "I was just curious about something..." and bringing up some sort of serious topic that I would not have allowed had I known it was coming.

I work on Thursday, so I am leaving tomorrow so I can stay at the house I nanny at and sleep in a little bit in the morning. I'll be back up Friday afternoon, though, and here for the weekend. Next week when I work every day will almost feel like a vacation. Not that I don't want to be up here, but for so long and because I "have" to be isn't they way I want to do it.

So, until I can leave here, just start handing me shots every time I nod. I don't need them to be able to stay here, but a little bit of alcohol can't hurt, right?

Baby Blues said...

A fresh mango shake please. Patiently waiting for my first ultrasound. The wait is driving me crazy! It has yet to sink in. I just need to see that heartbeat before totally embracing this pregnancy.

Erin said...

A nice, strong frozen margarita with plenty of salt for me, please! I'm just frustrated knowing that if our social worker hadn't screwed us over, we'd probably have a referral and/or already be traveling to Ethiopia to get our son. Instead, she delayed us so much that we're just now finishing our dossier, haven't got a referral, the court closures there start next week, and we're just praying that our son will be home by Hanukkah. Instead of August. It just makes me feel sick and defeated.

PCOSMama said...

Wow, I'm really late. Just been kind of out of it this week.

Shelby, I'm so sorry for your loss! Obviously one baby is easier to care for than two, but to lose one of your babies is so much worse than figuring out how to handle multiples!

Congratulations to all the BFPs and upcoming adoptions!

Best wishes and lots of luck to those of you who are still struggling! I truly hope your journey ends in a positive test and successful pregnancy soon!

Update on me... we had our 20 week ultrasound Monday and found out we are having a boy, much to my daughter's delight! Unfortunately we also had a bit of a scare - they couldn't see 4 chambers in the heart, whether because there are only 3 or because they just couldn't get a clear enough view we are waiting to find out. While the OB office is telling me there's nothing to be concerned about right now, I can't help but be worried and until we get our next ultrasound there will be some nagging doubt in the back of my head. Of course my doctor is out of town this week so until she gets back I won't even know when we can get the next ultrasound to make sure everything is ok.

So... trying to stay optimistic since we can't imagine why there would be anything wrong, but I could definitely use a virtual margarita right now! Or better yet, a Jamaican Rum Cream, on the rocks. The alcohol can't hurt me if it's virtual right?

Kim said...

Mel, still open?
No closing time. This place just gets better and better! Hey, everyone!

Mel, a round for everyone, including you! Thanks for having us again. I'll have a beer, bottle of wine, shot of tequila and just put it on my tab.

Me? Just had my 1st failed IUI. Awaiting the next step. Follie scan tomorrow morning.

Lots of luck to everyone this cycle. To the ladies in the 9 month wait, congrats!

Grad3 said...

I need another Mike's Hard Berry- the RE just told me I have immune issues.

The Town Criers said...

Anonymous--in case you come back to the bar, I hope that the first OB appointment went well this week.

Rachel said...

I'm on CD14, due to ovulate any moment. How textbook is that? whatever that means. We are "trying" this cycle but I'm not too optimistic because of my hubby's crappy SA -- we got the results in early July. So this month we're re-doing the SA and staying out of hut tubs, too. I would like a decaf coffee, I've been drinking lots of those lately (though I'm drinking a diet coke now. Gotta drink something to stay awake at work.) thanks Mel, you are very sweet to do this, and my thoughts go out to Shelby during this time. Take care of yourself.